The Night Before Christmas

With apologies to Charles Clement Moore


Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
My wrists had been tied together with care,
And I was sitting wishing my rescuer was there.

I had retired to slumber, to a night free of dread,
As my sister was sleeping in her own little bed.
The presents were wrapped and under the tree,
Waiting for the dawn and opening with glee.

When through the still night there came such a clatter,
I woke in my bed and wondered what was the matter.
Thinking our cat had knocked over a glass;
over my nightdress I put a gown and tied round a sash.

As I descended the stairs by the light of the moon,
I realised that I had blamed the cat too soon.
For next to the tree, I could see with some dread,
there stood a large man, but not dressed in red.

Black was his garb, from head to toe,
And with a stocking mask, so his face did not show.
He turned and saw me, stood there in a dream,
then he said “You come here,” and from his knife flashed a gleam.

I did as he asked, transfixed with fear,
and when he showed me the rope, my position was clear!
He whispered “Don’t worry, I just want your cash,”
As he took some cord and my wrists he did lash.

So he tied them together, and my ankles as well,
as I sat on the floor, silently cursing him to hell.
When he asked me so soft, “Is anyone else home?”
I shook my own head, hoping he’d leave Emmy alone.

Such was my luck, though, that as he stood,
we both could hear footsteps on the floor made of wood.
Wearing her nightdress and slippers of cream,
Emmy came down, and she started to scream.

The man ran up, and grabbed her by the waist,
then carried her down to the room in great haste.
He told her to be quiet, and we’d be all right,
Once he had finished, he’d slip into the night.

So now I’m looking at Emmy, lying in front of me,
as he ties her legs together above her two knees.
Her wrists have been tight bound, and her ankles as well,
as I fight so hard my own fears to quell.

He looks at the presents, all wrapped up in foil,
then says “Worry not, for me it’s too much toil
To take all those gifts, as nice as they look,
I’ll settle for money, and other such loot!”

I look at my own legs, bound at ankle and thigh,
and as I wonder at our fate, I let out a sigh.
HE looked at me, then said “I knew there was something,
I need to make sure an alarm you’re not causing.”

So he went to the kitchen, and come back in a minute,
with two cloths of cotton, and some tape along with it.
He went  over to Emmy, and pinching her nose,
in her mouth he pushed a cloth, then taped over the whole!

Another five minutes, and I was the same,
Emmy and I grunted as he picked up his gains.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he ran out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"