Mr. Bugs and the Retired Model










The first thing ‘Bugs’ Kremp realized was that he was lying on the floor, the second was that he was behind a sofa and the third was that he was partially covered with a bed sheet.


The logical conclusion?


He was sleeping on the sofa and whoever was watching whatever was on TV now had decided that he could sleep behind it, and had him removed from it.


That helped him remember where he was, Tombstone’s house, and why he was there. But there were still dozens of cobwebs in his mind as he slowly arose from behind Tombstone’s sofa. And what was that unarticulated sound that suddenly was filling the room?


The gagged mewls of two women writhing in their bonds on the TV screen. One was blonde and the other a brunette and both were... wait a moment! Tombstone... watching a bondage flick? Well he was married with Xandra and was a big friend and the ‘protector’ of Coraline, and those two had a huge knack when it came down to tie-up chicks...


But Tombstone? As much as he was good in doing it, and he was better than Xandra at least, for him it was just part of his business skills. Tie up and gag a gorgeous gal, a very ugly one or a man was but the same thing for him, and in any case there were few chances that the beach bunny babe, the harpy or the dude could be able to reach freedom by her/his own efforts. So why was he watching this flick with Xandra and Coraline at each side of his big frame? Before he could ask anything Tombstone grabbed the remote control and paused the film, and without bothering to turn back he said to him:


‘About time Sleeping Beauty decided to wake up...’


Xandra was the first to turn her head and greet him, and then she told him to go splash some water in his face cause he was looking like... By the time he returned to the living room the scene was ending. The two underwear clad girls, tied to two big stools, still fought their bonds with some earnest as the image faded to black, and her face appeared.


‘We got five very profitable months together after that. He taught me all his tricks and once I even allowed him to tie me up since, I had to agree, I took too much time to tie up our victims, so he said that he could tie me up and gag me in less than five minutes and I would still be unable to free myself... and I said ‘Oh yeah?’...’


The image faded and now she was lying on her belly on the floor, the simplest kind of hogtie hampering her movements and her knees linked by a medium length piece of rope to the foot of a very heavy furniture, a chest drawer of sorts, and she was gagged with a wide strip of white microfoam tape. She struggled with might, but not two minutes had passed and the image faded away and she was back. And Tombstone paused the flick once more.


‘I spoke in my sleep again?’


Xandra just nodded as Coraline started to mimic his sluggish voice (available only when he was in his rare ‘sleep talking mode’) and he quickly knew that Tombstone would not be in the mood for any bull**** today; since (as expected of him) he wasn’t going to tell them how Bugs had met such a famous fetish model of the late 80’s and whole 90’s, they had agreed to watch (with him!) one of her best movies (per Coraline’s judgement) in the main TV of the place (and not in the one in the basement as they were used to).


Since Coraline had already watched it like a dozen times (at least), she guided Bugs to the kitchen as Tombstone pushed the ‘play’ button again, while Xandra warned her that she wanted to hear that story too and if she tried to make Bugs talk...


What the hell did ‘one week of caterpillar’ meant to be used as a threat?


So, as she made him coffee, she started to talk about Darcy Sutton (AKA Lisa St. Matthew and half a dozen other professional names) and was still talking about her, and she wasn’t nowhere near Coraline’s favorite bondage/fetish model!, when they returned to the living room twenty minutes later, right on time to see Darcy writhing again in bondage, this time the ropework was way more elaborated and she was ballgagged, without any slack being produced but then somebody (off screen) shouted a name (‘Arleen?!’) a few times, each time stronger and closer than the previous one, and suddenly she was found and freed.


The image faded and when it returned Darcy was showing the kind of face you show when you tell the unexpected twist in a story, lots of confidence mixed with a ‘Fooled Ya’...


‘It was Benny, not his real name of course, one of the two guys I had hired just for that day... Oh come on! Jeff thought that he really could fool me? Ok, I admit, months before I was simply put a jealous wife stumbling on her husband’s job... but I knew that Jeff was seeing a gal, I knew her name and her address and... I confess... I went there to tie her up and terrorize her enough so she wouldn’t be seeing him anymore...’


The image faded and when it returned Darcy, wearing ‘working clothes’, was sneaking inside a house as she got closer of a door ajar. The female voice coming from behind it was young and apparently was talking to someone on the phone.


Funny, he kind of remember having heard that voice before...


Darcy wasn’t an actress, but she did manage to pass well all the resolve of someone (who hears an unseen woman discuss with her husband how to dispose of her) to not denounce her own presence. As the talk between her ‘hubby’ and the unseen woman became more mundane she decided to leave. The image faded...


‘I wanted to kill them both, but the gal was right... murder was too much, and besides she was the one that convinced HIM to not do it, so I would give her a fair crack of the whip as they say... So I kept an eye on Jeff and when I found out when he was going to wrap me up for the cops to find me... I hired these two guys, Jack and Benny... yeah I know, ‘Jack Benny’, well one of them did looks like him! Yeah, he did! (...) So I hired the two; Benny was supposed to be on the lookout in one of the houses across the street, and had orders to only to untie-me five minutes after Jeff Left...’


When the image returned a woman was writhing on the bed while a man, on his back, seemed to be watching something with binoculars. The brunette was wearing a tight fitting blouse and Bermuda shorts, and had been taped, gagged and blindfolded with blue tape. The camera, of course, focussed on her showing little of the guy, for about two minutes before he said ‘Finally!’ and left the room, a few more seconds of the early-to-mid thirties woman struggling in her bonds and Darcy was back.


‘When Jeff called the cops and told them that I had been burgled, so they could break into my house and find all the evidences of our crimes, there were already two cars parked in front of that snug bitch’s house, and when two of them boys in blue started to walk toward my house I showed up and said ‘What’s going on officer?’ with the most innocent face I could make. I gave them the keys and they went from top to bottom and found nothing, the evidences Jeff had left behind had been long removed by Benny. As for Jack?’


The image now showed a pretty young girl looking up with terrified eyes over her white ballgag... Hey, wait a moment! It was Fawn Parker!


The grip on her hair seemed authentic...


‘Listen up babe, this is your first and last warning... Never date married men and specially married men whose scorned wives can hire guys like me... You don’t know any Jeff, you never met any Jeff and frankly, what kind of man have that name? Is that clear?’


Fawn nodded and her attacker, who had bound her stark naked, elaborately roped up (with red rope) and kneeling over her bed, said ‘Good girl’ and left.


Two minutes of Fawn’s struggles and...


‘As for Jeff his car was reported stolen by Jack, after he was warned by Benny that he was en route to the girl’s place, and I had left quite the list of ‘interesting things’ in its trunk for the cops to find... He’s still doing time for it. (...) But that’s it, that’s my story of how a common housewife became one of the most wanted burglars in the state. And now it’s your last chance to back up, you have only done misdemeanors so far and if you come with me tonight you’ll be entering some serious ****. So, you still want to be my apprentice?’


The camera moved as if a person was nodding and the image faded...


When it returned the gagged face of an Oriental lady dominated the whole screen, the camera backed up a little and they could see that it was a petite woman, a bit too buxom, that was sitting on the floor of what looked like an apartment. She was wearing jeans trousers and tank top (both in the same dark shade of blue) and had been bound with white rope and gagged with a knotted (and thick) towel. Less than a minute of her struggling and Darcy (wearing, besides black T-shirt and leather trousers, a ridiculous black domino mask – that earned her a snicker from Xandra) appeared coming from the back of the apartment.


‘Ah, you’re done? Here, hold it while I check it...’


And she passed to the cameraman (whose gloved hand seemed to be of a woman) the sack of stuff they were robbing, knelt on the floor besides the early twenties chick and proceeded to cinch the knots of her bonds, earning a bigger grunt from the captive at each time she (apparently) did it. After she was done she rolled the girl so she was now lying on her belly and hogtied her. After that she stood up she looked at the camera...


‘Not a bad job, just a little sloppy, she’d be able to free herself in ten or fifteen minutes, and we don’t want that to happen, do we?’ – The camera ‘shook’ the image as if saying ‘no’, then it looked at the way more furious captive at her feet and then it fixated the image at the corridor from which Darcy had emerged moments before – ‘What, her roomie? Don’t worry about her...’ – and then she got closer to the camera and whispered – ‘...let’s just say that I knew who lives here long before I decided to ‘visit’ this place... and that old saying about ‘hell having no fury’ is correct.’ And with that she moved frontward as if to leave the apartment, but the camera  instead went through the corridor until it reached the room where Fawn Parker was squirming belly up over the bed, after being tied up in an ‘Eiffel Tower’ position wearing but a black bikini bottom. The phrase ‘INDEED!’ was splashed over the screen for a moment, next a couple of minutes of her trying to free herself and a ‘The End’ sign appeared after the image faded, and was substituted with a ‘Vignettes’?


Tombstone stopped the movie at that point and stood up.


‘Oh come on Sam, it wasn’t that bad, was it?’


‘Alright, I contend that it has a plot, and an interesting one at that... but that’s it.’


‘Sam...’ – Only Xandra still remembered his name and used it on an hourly basis!


Bugs grabbed the case of the movie and held it in his hands; ‘The Burglar’s Apprentice (and Wife)’. It showed Fawn (wearing a green bikini with white polka dots that he hadn’t seen in the movie), the two girls that had awakened him and another one that he hadn’t seen under the title, while above it (and with her shoulders ‘resting’ on it, while her chin was resting on her intertwined fingers) Darcy was looking downward with a mischievous smile aimed at the bound women (who seemed to be looking back at her).


‘So she was a burglar’s wife...?’ – He asked to Coraline.


‘Who did not knew that her husband was a burglar, one night she followed her husband to what she believed was a ‘date’... and saw him breaking into a house. She followed him and saw him tying up a bare-breasted brunette, who managed to kick him...’


‘Hah!’ – said Tombstone.


‘OK... that scene wasn’t very convincing...’


‘Just that one?’


‘Sam...’ – She grabbed her husband right hand, that he had tucked in his pants right pocket, and held it between her own – ‘Acting skills were or are or will ever be a requirement in any of those movies of YOUR porn collection?’


Tombstone capitulated, and went to the kitchen fetch some coffee for himself.


‘...And as she ran to hide herself in the back of the house, or to go outside and attract the attention of a neighbor, Lisa positioned herself besides the opening that led to that house’s kitchen and grabbed her as soon as she passed, one hand to over her eyes and the other arm around her waist. The girl in question was smaller than her and she easily lifted her from the floor, well not that easy, and carried her back to where her ‘hubby’ was... she’s the last one on the cover. From them on her hubby taught her everything he knew and she was sharing it with her first apprentice. Not really bad for a plot, right?’


‘A bit shallow... but so are the ones of MY porn collection (when they have one)...’


Oh-oh, Coraline grabbed his right hand and Xandra did the same with his left one, and they ‘dragged’ him to the kitchen, where they prepared their own breakfast (and Tombstone’s) before they ‘allowed’ Bugs to tell him how he had met ‘Lisa St. Matthew’.


‘Well, there’s this street somewhere in LA. One night, six months ago, I was at a party in one of its buildings and I went to the balcony to cool down a little, me and some dude had a disagreement for some stupid reason. So I am there, with a root beer in my hands and trying to calm down. And while I do that I looked across the street and suddenly there was this mid-twenties gal looking back at me, really gorgeous lady, wearing plain simple clothes (I can’t remember about them) and looking at me as if I was the ugliest thing she had ever seen. She was in a building that has balconies too and rushed back inside her apartment like I was pointing a gun at her! And there was I, looking like a dumb dude and thinking about go there, to that building and to that apartment and knock at the door... but then the guy who I had yelled at (and who had yelled back) was by my side, offering me his hand and we shook and everything was fine again. One month later I am in another building of that street, working. Me and a couple of dudes overpowered the couple living in that place, my buddies take the husband to do whatever he was supposed to do and my job was to take care of the mid-forties (and obese) lady, who by the way didn’t gave me any trouble, and at some point I remember of that lady of the month before. So I took a peek at that building (I was on the side of the street of the month before), and saw another dame...’


‘Not the same of the previous month?’


That one was black while this one was white and like twenty years older than the first one. And way more sadder... she was crying a lot, and then who came from the apartment, hugged her and sort of forced her to return to inside it, going to the length of closing the curtains of whatever room was beyond the balcony after she locked the sliding door to it?’


‘Lisa?’ – asked Xandra.


‘She uses her birth name nowadays...’ – Bugs started.


‘Ah, Darcy Sutton?’ – said both women in stereo.


Tombstone was looking at Bugs with a smirk in his face, yeah, he had deserved that one.


‘She’s not like that anymore..., by the way, how old was she when she did that movie?’


‘It’s from 1996 so she was...’ – Xandra started.


‘...36 years old!’ – Coraline answered as she smiled at Xandra.


‘Well, now she’s like sixty or seventy pounds heavier...’


‘Oh no! She’s one of my favorites!’ – said Xandra


‘Everybody gets old...’ – said Tombstone, who got a jab at his right arm for that.


‘Should I go on? Well, I thought that the first lady had moved up and left it at that. Two weeks passed and there was I, on the building whose number was the next one after the one of that building. Me and one gal... we were... you know... and afterwards we slept. I awoke past 3 AM and, since it was hot and there was no power (another one of those blackouts), I decided to open all the windows of her apartment. After I was finished, since I was in a higher floor, I saw that I could take a peek at the other building and, guess what... there was another lady at that balcony! Totally different of the previous ones!’


‘How so?’


‘Well, for starters she was more of the age of the first one, but was white, and very tall. The taller of them three. And she also sported a sad expression in her face. She stayed there for like five minutes and went back. But by this time the girl had awakened and wanted more and... I started to look around, trying to figure out what kind of place could have only sad women as their residents, and... unlike you Coraline I didn’t figured it out...’


Xandra looked at Coraline who had a knowing, but very somber, expression in her face.

But before she could ask anything to Bugs, Coraline intervened and made a shushing order to Bugs as she filled another mug of coffee for him (who didn’t wanted more).


‘I found out who was the fat... obese lady, but apparently there was no one living in that apartment. It was listed as vacant, for the past five years!, in the agency that I learned was the responsible for it rental. As for the other apartments of that floor they were indeed vacant (all of them), and quite dusty. So it became a hobby of mine to check the place every now and then, but for all this time the place was actually desert. Not a single furniture! Two days ago me and the gal of the building next to the one of that apartment met at a party... she took me to her place, we had a great time together... and when I decided to check it  once again through that window, what do I see? That the place has a new occupant!’


‘And this time it was...?’


‘I couldn’t see much of her, just her feet, she was inside the apartment with the sliding door open and sitting on the floor, obviously, with her legs stretched and resting mostly on the balcony. Not very great legs by the way, both of you have better ones... Anyway, now I knew that someone was living there so I decided to go there yesterday...’


Bugs drank all the coffee, in one gulp, before he resumed.


‘As I was approaching the room I could hear that a fight was going on inside, or maybe a beating. The door was ajar, having been kicked open violently. I went inside and there he was, too busy beating up the woman in between his legs to realize that I was there...’


‘Wait a moment! The place was...’ – started Xandra as her eyes and mouth got bigger.


‘A safe house for women victims of (very violent) domestic abuse. The owner of the rental agency set the business up just so he could find suitable locations for said places all around town, it’s not an official thing, it’s very secret but, somehow, the ******** found out that the guy knew where his wife was being kept guarded from his ‘righteous’ fury. So he paid two guys to grab the man’s daughter and as a ransom...’


‘But this man, the one that had his daughter kidnapped, couldn’t he warn anyone?’


‘The ******* went to his house and showed him a picture of the co-ed bound in her undies to a chair in some place very dirty, poorly lit and in between two guys. And guess what he told him what the guys would do to the girl if he didn’t complied to his demands? Exactly.’

‘And after the man gave him the address?’


‘He’s at a trauma care at an hospital downtown, the ***** used brass knuckles on his face. The girl is alright, he only paid the two maggots to tie her up, take the picture and leave her. The mother of one of them, when she saw her son with more money than he could ever get honestly, cornered him and made him confess. She called the police through an anonymous tip, and she was found like two hours after they had left her wherever it was they did.’


Tombstone harrumphed, and after all eyes were turned towards him...


‘She took her underage son to the police with her preacher at her side, it’s all in the news. The kid already identified the man, who was found by the police...’


I was Coraline and Xandra’s turn to harrumph. Tombstone got the message but concluded.


‘Anyway, the girl (not the kid) already identified the other kidnapper and they ratted the ******** as easily as you can say ‘Hi!’. As if he hadn’t enough trouble already...’


Both women turned their heads towards Bugs in a synchronized movement.


‘So there was I, masked and gloved and with a gun in my hand, and the guy focussed on beating up his wife to the point that when I said ‘hey!’ he probably didn’t heard me, then I shouted ‘HEY!!!!’ and he looked up... Did you know that, ever since I realized my punches wouldn’t carry too much power unless I added many pounds to my muscles (which I don’t want to do), I decided to learn fighting styles that had an emphasis on kicks?’


Coraline highfived Bugs while Xandra kissed him in the cheek as soon as he said that.


‘Which ones?’ – asked Tombstone.


‘The fighting styles? Muay thai, capoeira and tae-kwon-do... and some boxing as an added incentive. My punches at least are fast, but my kicks...’


‘Where?’ – asked Xandra.


‘The first went to his chin, which made his body jerk backwards and he was no longer over his ex-wife, the second (as he was trying to realize what was going on) got him in his stomach, the third and fourth were just to knock him down and, as I was really thinking in giving him a fifth, I heard a thumping sound. That’s what made me remember where I was. So I looked behind me and the battered dame was out, I looked in front of me and the *** was out, so from where was coming the sound? From one of the rooms of the apartment. I checked the dame and it was clear that she was going to need some help ASAP, as I stood up I saw the gun the man had brought with himself, put it in my waist and then I rushed to the room from where the sound was coming, the door had been locked and somebody was behind it, hitting it in a rhythmical fashion. I crouched by the door and picked the lock.’


‘And the woman hitting the door was Darcy?’


‘No, it was the first lady, the one that had looked at me as if I was a monster. Now she was looking at me as if I was a savior, and then as she realized that I was masked and armed the ‘A monster!!!!’ look was back! So I took off my ski mask... and realized five seconds too late that she wasn’t alone in the room...’


‘Bugs!’ – but the look in Coraline’s eyes was more of amusement than of reprieve.


‘Anyway... all three dames had been ordered to strip before he (or his ex) taped them up. The ‘first’ dame was the only one whose underwear was ‘matching’ the white tape over her legs, arms and mouth. It was quite a beautiful set actually... At a corner of the room was Darcy, her set was blue and green, and she was the only one among them three that had a bruise in her face... he pistol-butted her... and right behind the ‘first’ dame was another black woman, by far the most beautiful of them three, guess who?’


None of the three had any idea, so Bugs continued his story.


‘Teesha Davan.’


‘The porn star??!!!’ – said all three at the same time.


‘Herself, like the guy who had provided the apartment she has... really bad memories of her dad, and is one of the most involved members of that ‘underground’ group. She was the one that a friend, who was the one that found out the rental agency’s owner and called the police and paramedics, called when the man (before passing out) identified to him or her who had attacked him. She tried to warn the abused wife, so she could get the hell outta there, but it was too late already. The guy was there and had already overpowered Darcy and the ‘first’ dame. So he lied in wait, ambushed her as soon as she left the elevator and, when he finally thought that he had time to do what he wanted...’


It was Coraline’s turn to kiss him on the cheek.


‘But why didn’t Darcy managed to free herself or the others?’


‘There were two completely finished rolls of tape on the floor of that room, and each tie was that thick, he wasn’t taking any chance with them. So instead of tie them up I untied all three of them, the ‘first’ dame first (and she ran to help the ex-wife before I could give her any update), next Teesha and lastly Darcy. When I was halfway through with Darcy the ‘first’ dame, whose name I didn’t picked, screamed: ‘He’s awaking’. But before i could do anything Teesha was over him and showing that a girl CAN punch!’


Bugs stopped for a moment and the fingers of his right hand started to play an imaginary keyboard as he sighed, once, twice... after the third he said:


‘Much better than me at least...’


Besides a knowing smirk all three started to remember what they could about Teesha’s hands. She definitely hadn’t too much muscles on her body, less than Bugs for sure...


‘In any case, I threw at her the rolls of tape that I had intended to use on whoever was in the apartment and returned to the room to free Darcy. Teesha took the ex-wife, with my help, to the back of the building where a car, with the ‘first’ dame at the wheel, was awaiting her and off they went, all three of them, to find some car for the ex-wife. As I returned to the apartment Darcy was frantic at the phone, talking to everybody she could think of as she tried to find a way to deal with the dude. I told her that I could do it for her if she did me a little favor. She looked at me as if I had asked for sex! so I explained my plan to her, she smiled the most cruel smile ever and nodded. One hour later she returned with what I had asked, and like six or seven people ready to clean the place from top to bottom. I had already dispatched the guy to the trunk of my car and asked her when would she want me to release him. She asked me to do that by midnight...’


Bugs had grabbed his smartphone and was busy looking for something, when he found it he passed the smartphone to Xandra (who laughed a lot), who gave it to Tombstone (who looked at him with a not-so-disapproving look) who finally gave it to Coraline.


‘Public indecency? You had him booked for public indecency?’ – she managed to ask after she got he breathe back. She had laughed the hardest!


‘I took precautions, there’s no chance that a child could be able to see... it, only grown-ups like us. Sure, the first thing that the cops sent to arrest him was that he had been bruised and was drunk, they had to use bolt cutters to set him free and, by the time he was down... somebody had given to the press his documents...’


‘You ever try this with anyone else...’


‘And Darcy and the others?’


‘Well, I had to tell them the story of my aunt Emily so they could trust me, and I gave them a phone number. After I had done that to him I went to Moe’s where I met Tombstone, I tried to play the nonchalant dude but he soon had a more edited version of the story. I was finishing it when the phone rang. Wherever they took the ex-wife she’s fine, and will be more fine as her ******** of an ex pays for what he did. The police has nothing that links the... man (or the ex-wife or anyone else) to that apartment, which is now as dusty as the others on that floor, but they have like a truckload of evidences against the man.’


‘And, from what I heard, they are treating the case as an insanely jealous ex-husband who, for some reason, decided that the rental agency owner knew where his ex was and had a kidnap committed in order to get the address, but the man (before being savagely beaten up) gave him a fake address... how he ended up that tree is a mystery to them...’


‘Rollers and sheaves Tombstone, just rollers and sheaves...’


One last time Bugs’ ‘good deed’ (for a change) earned him a reward from the women and they stood up, Xandra still had to see (for the first time) the vignettes while Coraline was going to (again) try to convince her to star in one of her ‘productions’... Meanwhile Bugs still couldn’t understand what ‘vignettes’ meant, so he went to the living room to check it.







Every now and then Teesha showed up at Moe’s and pretended to be his girlfriend, but she was in fact the only one of her organization that could be seen at Moe’s without attracting too much attention towards him/her and Bugs, who revealed himself as being ‘too prude’ to tell about how he had managed to ‘grab’ her, but after a while a simple way of contracting his skills as a burglar was found and she disappeared for a few months. When she returned it was because she and Bugs, after a few ‘adventures’ together, had indeed became friends.

Moe even tried to have Bugs convincing her to do some pole dancing for him...


What he did for ‘them’ was a mystery to Tombstone, but he never pressed his buddy on that subject. He had a new headache to deal with... Xandra not just had accepted to ‘star’ in the next ‘production’ of Coraline (why couldn’t she spent her money as she used to, with tuned cars and custom videos? Why the urge to produce them herself?) but was insisting that he, somehow, made Bugs invite Darcy and Teesha to it...










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