Swipe Right







When you are a gentleman of my age, seeking female companionship, you use whatever tools you have to hand, and yes I have used a dating app.  Of course, in my case, it also provided opportunities even at my age to practice my craft, but with dignity, always with dignity.


Amelia was the first woman I visited using the dating app.  She was a lovely woman in her mid-sixties, and we met in a park local to her.  I was smartly dressed, and she was wearing a brown great coat over a light peach blouse, a long blue skirt and high black leather boots.  Her hair was neatly cut, and she wore dark rimmed glasses and white earrings.


We got on well to begin with, as I invited her to take a walk with me around the park, and we talked of nothing much of anything.  A pub lunch then followed, and as we finished Amelia asked if I would like to come and have a coffee at her house, a short walk away.


Well, how could I refuse such a kind offer?  I accompanied her to her home, and as she invited me to take a seat in the front room I looked round at the pictures of her family, and also the collection of silver she had in a cabinet.  Amelia then brought the coffee in, and we sat and drank and talked – until I pulled the gun from my inside jacket pocket, and politely informed her that as wonderful as the afternoon had been, I was going to rob her.


Well, as you can imagine she was a trifle upset at that, but then she actually smiled and said it was actually something exciting, even if she was going to be the loser in this.  I said that was an eminently sensible thing to say, and told her to sit with her hands on her head and stand up, then show me where I could find something to secure her with.


She took me into her kitchen, and I saw a roll of black electrical tape on the side, so I picked that up and also a blue patterned headscarf that was draped across the back of a chair.  Walking back into the front room, I asked her to sit in her armchair, and then to turn her back to me and put her hands behind her back.


As I put her hands together, palm to palm, and taped her wrists to secure them, she thanked me for an – interesting day, even if it was not turning out as she had hoped.  I in turn thanked her for being such pleasant company, as I tore the tape free and patted it down, then knelt down and taped her booted ankles together.   More tape than went around her legs, above her knees and over her skirt to protect her modesty, and then finally round her arms and stomach.


No more, no less, before I rolled the headscarf up and used it as a cleave gag on her.  She then watched as I availed myself of the opportunity to take her silverware, then promised to call the police when I had allowed myself sufficient time to make my escape.  She nodded and smiled, her lips over the scarf as I saw the damp patch between her lips, and then I kissed her forehead to say thank you before I departed.



I read the news report of the robbery some days later, and was pleased to see she had said she had been surprised by a masked man after coming home.  This is one advantage of my approach to my craft these days – some manners, and gentle persuasion, and the ladies I call on find the excitement of the time, as well as possibly some mild embarrassment at time, means I remain safe.  I know it’s not something I can rely on, but it has worked so far.


I remember the first time I had taken this approach after my last stay at Her Majesty’s Pleasure.  I was staying in a hotel in Torquay, enjoying a brief vacation, and wearing a light jacket over a white shirt and tan trousers, when a deep voice next to me asked if I would like a drink.


I turned my head to see a tall woman with greying blonde hair, wearing a lime green hooded top, the zip pulled down slightly, and a black leather mini skirt.  Dark hose and a pair of knee length black leather boots completed her outfit.  She smiled and said her name was Rose, and asked again if I would like a drink.


I could hardly refuse, so we sat and talked – she was a recent widower, and had come down to have a short holiday.  In my younger days, she may have been the beautiful wife at home when I had visited, but now maturity seemed to add to her looks.


After a while, she invited me up to her room, and I accepted, so we walked up and as we did so, she asked what I did for a living.  Now, I could have lied – I often have in the past – and I could have vacillated on the subject, but something in me felt like being a devil, so I told her I was a burglar, but now thinking of retirement.


She stopped for a moment when she heard me say that, but then opened her bedroom door and asked me in, before she asked if I had ever hurt anyone in that career.  I’m actually proud of the fact I have not hurt anyone, but I did admit there had been times when I had to stop someone raising the alarm.

She then turned and looked at me, before she said something that took me completely by surprise.  She said one thing she had discovered, since the death of her husband, was how she and her friends longed for some excitement in their lives – and the idea of being robbed was exciting her.  So, she said quietly, why don’t I rob her, stop her raising the alarm, and then take her jewellery – and she swore she would say someone in a mask surprised her.


I did point out the small fact of CCTV, but she said she would say it happened after I left her room – so, was I interested?  I had to admit, my professional eye had told me how valuable the jewellery she was wearing was…


Eventually, I agreed, and took a pillow case off a pillow from her bed, watching as she stripped her rings, bracelets, pendant necklace, gold watch and earrings off and put them in.  I then asked her to lie on her back on the bed, and put her hands together in front of her in prayer, while I went to the bathroom and returned with the two belts from the dressing gowns.


I used the first of those to secure her wrists together, and then the second around her ankles, so that they were secured as we talked, and then I used a pair of her tights to secure her wrists to her ankles.  She then directed me to her other jewellery boxes, wriggling round and seeming to be enjoying herself as I took the other items.


Finally, I folded a black scarf and put it into her mouth – a simple gag, true, but it was effective enough as she mumbled something like ‘thank you’ and I left the room.



Holidays have provided other opportunities as well, especially abroad.  I was on the last day of a holiday in southern Spain when I was sitting having a coffee in a roadside café – and then she walked past.  She must have been about seventy with short cropped white hair, but dressed as if she was thirty years younger, in a red sleeveless leather dress with a wide white belt round her waist, dark hose and cowboy style boots in the same red leather as her dress.


I watched her for a moment, and then she turned and looked at me – and I could see she was appraising me.  She then smiled and made a swiping motion with her hand – to the right.  I couldn’t see her eyes because of the sunglasses, but the waiter smiled as he said she was inviting me to come with her – like on a dating app.


So I left some money on the table, stood up and walked over to her, smiling as I introduced myself.  She told me her name was Ana, and asked if I was here on holiday.  When I nodded, she asked if I was alone – and that smile got wider as I indicated I was. 


Ana then asked if I wanted to come with her, her voice warm and inviting – so I asked what she had in mind.  That was when she kissed me on the cheek, and I followed her to an apartment off the main square.  She was obviously well off, tasteful art on the wall, that sort of thing, as she went to her kitchen, coming back with a bottle of wine and two glasses.


We sat and talked, and drank a very agreeable Merlot, as I noticed her getting slightly tipsy – and the temptation to rob her grew in me.  So I asked her, rather cheekily, if she liked to play games, and she slightly slurred her voice when she asked what sort of games.  I replied kinky ones, as she took off her glasses, folded them and then looked at me, before she stood up and offered me her hand.


Walking me into her bedroom, she opened a wicker box up and showed me some – well, let’s call them toys – and asked what I had in mind.  Taking two pairs of handcuffs from the box, I fastened a cuff over each of her wrists, and then invited her to lie on the bed, and put her hands above her head.  She smiled as she did that, and watched as I fastened the cuffs to her ornate iron headboard, so that her arms were spread out wide.


She giggled as she tried to move her wrists, then watched as I repeated the process on her ankles, spreading them slightly apart as she wriggled round, the leather squeaking as she did so.  I leaned over and kissed her, before I asked her if she wanted to be kept quiet while I made her feel happy.


She nodded, so I took two things from the box – a sponge ball, which I compressed in my hand and then pushed into her mouth, and a roll of white tape which I tore several strips off and then smoothed over her lips.  She looked at me and then nodded, watching as I took one more thing from the box.


She sighed as she heard the buzzing, and then groaned as I moved the vibrator over her chest, and then down the inside of her legs – and then inserted it into her pants as she closed her eyes and groaned – keeping them closed as I stole her jewels, and then covered her closed eyes with the tape as well, saying it had been a pleasure, and I would inform the police.


Besides, I had a flight to catch…



So, as I said, I now practice my art by identifying women of character through the appropriate dating apps, swiping right and seeing if they do the same, and then assessing what they have before I decide if I want to do anything.  A month or so ago, I did just that with Catherine – a lovely lady in Leeds in her late fifties, with short grey hair and style all her own, as I discovered when we met one evening at a restaurant.  She was wearing a red, blue and black patterned top, fastened at the front of her with a large black brooch, over a very short black silk dress, and black riding boots over natural hose enclosed legs.


We had a fine meal, and got on very well indeed, so when I offered to accompany her home I agreed without hesitation, hailing a taxi before we climbed in and went to a house in the suburbs.  She opened the door and we walked in – only to discover that she had been robbed while she had been out.


I looked at her, and asked if she wanted me to call the police – but I was surprised when she shook her head, started to cry and said not yet, then sat down.  I sat next to her, and asked what was wrong, and she told me it had been a fantasy of hers to be robbed and left behind, unable to raise the alarm.  It had happened to her daughter, but never to her…


Well, I knew the chances were there was nothing there for me, but I said I knew what a fantasy like that was like – a past partner of mine had liked to play the game of hostage.  She looked at me, and then asked if I would help her live out her fantasy…


I asked her if she had any rope in the house, and she said there should be some unused washing line in the kitchen.  As she stood up and left the room to look, I asked her to find any tape she may have as well, smiling as she came back with two skeins of rope, a roll of silver tape, and a pair of scissors.


I started by cutting a length and tying her wrists together behind her back, and a second length to secure her ankles together, then asked her if she was all right.  She looked at me, and nodded as I asked if she wanted me to make her more secure, and she nodded again.


I started by securing her legs together below her knees, and then took the second length of rope and cut it in half.  She asked me why I need a longer length – and then she nodded and said she understood as I doubled it over, and then wound it round her upper body, forcing her arms against her sides as I made two bands above and below her chest.


As I cinched the bands by using two smaller lengths between her arms and body, she twisted round and actually smiled, as she asked what I was going to do.  I said I’d finish making sure she could not raise the alarm, I’d make sure she was all right, then leave and call the police, telling them I had seen the front door open at this house and was worried someone was inside.


She said that made sense, as I folded a clean white handkerchief I had taken from my pocket and asked her to open her mouth.  Pushing it gently in, she closed her lips and then I covered them with strips of the silver tape, before helping her to lie on the couch with her head on the arm.


I know – I couldn’t take anything from her, but I did give her a chance to fulfil a fantasy…




The thing about using dating apps, of course, is sometimes they lead to unexpected situations.  Last week, I swiped right on a woman in her late fifties, with greying brown hair, and we arranged to meet in a coffee shop in town.  I was waiting, smartly dressed as always, as she came in, wearing a black denim jacket over a white top, a knee length black skirt with coloured spots and a wide black webbing belt, and black leather boots that came to just below her knee.


She smiled as she came over, a pink ribbon tied in a bow in her hair, and introduced herself as Andrea as I ordered two coffees.  She was a nice person to talk to, with a deep voice, but we did seem to get on well and she invited me to join her for dinner that night.  Well, I agreed, as we stood up and I picked up the small bag I had with me, saying I had picked up some things before coming to meet her.


She lived a short walk away, in a semi-detached house, which she invited me into and asked if I would take a seat while she prepared some food.  That was the moment I chose to say to her I had a slightly different plan – and took the gun out of my jacket pocket, Andrea looking at me and then slowly raising her hands as I put the bag down on the dining table, and pulled a chair away from it, inviting her to take a seat and put her hands on her head.


She asked me what I was going to do, as I opened the bag and took out a length of rope, then wrapped it round her waist to secure it to the chair back.  I was honest and open – I was going to tie her up, and rob her, but I had no intention of harming her other than securing her.


She nodded as I told her to slowly take her hands off her head, and put them round the chair back, her jacket pulling back slightly as I secured her wrists together with more rope, and tied them to the chair back.  I then tied her arms to the chair back as well, before I knelt in front of her and put her ankles together, securing them and then pulling them to the side before I tied them to the front leg.


It was while I was securing her legs together below her knees that I noticed something as she wriggled round on the chair, and her skirt moved slightly – something that made me look at Andrea more closely, as she stared back at me and slowly nodded.  Well, I was going to rob her anyway, but I said that instead of calling the police, was there a friend I could call to let them know of her predicament – a friend who knew.


She coughed, and then gave me a name and telephone number which I wrote down on a piece of paper, and then put that in my pocket before I took a roll of brown sticking plaster from my bag, tore off a strip, and pressed it firmly down over her mouth.  I then left her in the room while I looked for and removed money and valuables from the house – and then left Andrea there, before calling the number I had been given an hour later.


After all, Andrea – or Andy – may not want other people to know their preferences…




You would be amazed, I suspect, at how eager people of a certain vintage are for new experiences, and I guess I in some small way provide them for some women – but then, you know that already, don’t you Samantha?


Samantha wriggled round and nodded as she looked at the grey haired man.  When she had seen his Tinder profile after he had swiped right, he had seemed perfect, and so she had returned the favour and they had met that night for a drink.


She had dressed casually – a grey jersey dress, black leggings and over the knee grey suede boots with a flat sole, and when she walked into the bar she was pleased to see he was casually dressed as well, in a black leather jacket over a grey V-necked sweater and dark trousers.


They had hit it off instantly, and she had invited him back to her flat – only to discover his true intentions once they had come in.


So now she was lying on her side on the bed, her wrists secured together behind her back and bands of rope over her arms and chest, framing her breasts as they stretched the wool over them.  Her ankles were also secured together, as were her legs below her knees, and then her ankles had been pulled back and tied to the chest ropes so that she was immobile.


But all the time her had been doing this, he – no, they had talked, and she had had to admit the thought of being robbed excited her as well.  Not that she could say much – to her surprise, she had suggested stuffing a pair of panties into her mouth and using a pair of her tights to gag her – and he had done just that.


So in a way, she was complicit in her own robbery – and as she struggled while he emptied her jewellery boxes, she had already decided not to report him.


In fact, she wondered if he would be interested in another date…







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