Family Counselling – Special Cases
While it may have been some time since I shared, with the permission of those involved of course, some tales of my counselling techniques, it is not because I have not been busy. Nothing could be further from the truth, and in fact it is because I have been so busy I have not put pen to paper.
Until now. I have other stories to share, but today allow me to share some of the more – unusual situations I have helped families with. As always, names have been changed, and nothing added that could reveal who they are.
For example, Claudette was referred to me with her daughter Abigail for a very particular reason. Claudette was expecting at the time – she would have been at about seven months – and Abigail was eight. A few months before, they had been visiting friends when they had been caught up in a home invasion by two young people, and had spent time bound and gagged. They had made sure Claudette was unaffected, but Abigail had been kept with friends – and she had been afraid her mother was going to be hurt.
She had been reassured at the time, but those fears had come back recently, and Claudette asked if I could help her get over those fears. So I asked them to call in – Claudette was wearing a maternity dress with black, blue and white stripes, black sleeves and a black midriff, tights and black boots. As for Abigail, she was wearing a blue dress with a black cardigan, grey tights and black Mary Jane shoes. Both women had their hair plaited into pigtails that fell to the side.
The first thing I did was reassure both of them they were not going to be hurt – and in fact, I wanted Abigail to take care of her mother first. So I handed her a roll of white medical tape, and asked her to tape Claudette’s wrists together in front of her. Her mother talked to her while she did this, and then I asked her to tape her mother’s ankles together as well as her legs below her knees.
Once Claudette was secured, I got Abigail to press some of the tape down over her mother’s mouth, the girl assured her mother was all right and she was calm. I then took the roll, and taped her wrists together n front of her, before I taped her ankles and legs in the same way as her mother, and then covered her mouth with tape as well.
Claudette sat as far back in the seat as se could, as I helped Abigail to lie down with her head on her mother’s lap and her ear next to her belly. I then asked her if she could hear the baby moving, and she nodded – then giggled as her head moved slightly. I asked if the babu had kicked her, and then y both nodded in response to that.
So I said if she was calm, her mother was calm, and the baby was happy, was there anything for her to fear? Abigail shook her head, and I saw a smile under the tape as her mother nodded. I said I was going to leave them for a while to enjoy the bonding time, and left them to relax and let their cares and worries disappear…
Now on occasion, I do counsel older people as well as families – such as the three Stark sisters. Antonia was 26, Rian 24 and Lily 27, and they asked me to help them understand what had happened to their parents in a recent robbery.
Well, I first asked them what had happened, and they told me how their mother and father were left trussed and gagged on the bed while the house was ransacked – but they also said they seemed much closer, and that they had “discovered something” as a result of the incident.
So I offered to let them have the same experience, and they agreed. Rian said she would go first – she was wearing a checked vest over a white blouse, faded jeans and black trainers. So, I started by taking her hands behind her back, her sisters watching as I used some white rope to secure her crossed wrists together.
Once I had done that to Rian, Antonia was next. She was wearing a short black dress with long sleeves, dark hose and mid-calf black leather boots – and a few minutes later, the rope round her wrists behind her back as well. As they talked to each other, I took care of Lily. The oldest sister was wearing a short-sleeved dress with a white band at the chest, as well as dark hose and long black boots.
Anyway, once all three had their wrists secured, I asked if they were ready for their legs to be secured as well. All three sat on the floor, watching as one be one I made sure their ankles were secured together with rope, and then their legs below their knees.
I then asked if anything else was done to their parents, but they shook their heads, save for telling me they had both been cleave gagged. So I took three clean white silk scarves, rolled each one into a band, and then gagged each of the three sisters so that they could only mumble to each other.
I let them spend some time together, trying to get free but also just trying to talk to each other - and I guess they gained some understanding of what their parents had gone through that time. Certainly by the time I had released them, they were happy to be able to talk to them about it – although I suspect they did not have the full experience…
Then there was Eleanor and Alison – two sisters who came to see me with their husbands and children. Eleanor had dark brown hair swept back, and was wearing a burnt orange top over a floral print dress, brown hose and knee length brown leather boots. Alison had long dark hair that fell loose on her shoulders, and had on a short-sleeved cream coloured top, and jeans with the legs tucked into knee length tan leather boots.
As I said, they came with their husbands and their young sons – but it was the husbands who explained the situation to me. Both of them had been worried that their wives were scared of being held hostage, and they had heard that my methods of counselling could help take those fears away.
I asked if there was a chance they were going to be held hostage, and while they explained it was very unlikely, they had plans which meant those fears needed to be assuaged. So I asked them if they would both place themselves in my hands for a few hours, and they both agreed. So their husbands took the children somewhere, saying they would be back later, leaving their wives looking at me in way that showed how worried they were.
So I told them there was nothing to be afraid of, and gave them each a length of white cord to hold, before asking them if they were afraid of the rope. They both said they were not afraid, so I asked them both to sit down and bend their legs so that they could reach their ankles – because I was going to show them how to use the rope to secure their ankles together.
Well, that took them by surprise, but I told them how to double the rope over and wrap it round their ankles, then pull it tight and round in bands before cinching it between their legs and the right knot to use. I allowed then a few minutes to get comfortable with what they had done, and talk to each other, before I handed them another length of rope, and told hem to do the same thing to their legs below their knees.
Again, I waited until they were comfortable like this until I said if they were ready, I would secure their wrists together behind their back. They were more than willing to allow me to do that – and even after I checked to allow me to use longer ropes to secure their arms to their sides.
So there they were – bound, and after I asked if they wanted the full experience wearing fetching black over the mouth scarf gags, and blindfolds. The perfect way for their husbands to come in and collect them, their kids watching with their grandmother.
After all, they were going on a surprise holiday…
Speaking of holidays, a previous client of mine, Greta, asked if I would be willing to supervise a holiday game with her husband and daughter – and when ‘I asked what sort of game, she told me they wanted me to pretend to be the Games Player – and that they were all to be secured.
Well, that necessitated a home visit, and I arrived dressed as his particular lady usually does – a dark jumper, and leggings tucked into brown leather boots. Greta opened the door to me, wearing a long-sleeved striped jersey dress with a wide black leather belt round her waist, and black knee length fabric boots. Her brown hair was pulled back into a ponytail, but she was glad to see me and toom e in to meet her husband. His name was George, and he was wearing a patterned shirt, jeans and brown loafers.
As for their daughter, Enya, she had long light brown hair and was wearing a grey jersey dress with a white belt round her waist, long black soaks and black shoes. I then added the final touch to my costume – the stocking pulled down over my head – and said we were going to play a game of robbers – but because I had to keep an eye on them, they were going to tie each other up.
I told Greta to sit with her hands on her head, and then handed a length of rope to George, telling him to tie Enya’s wrists together behind her back. Enya stood up with her hands there, as George secured her wrists together, and then used a longer rope I gave him to make sure her arms stayed against her sides.
She then sat next to Great while George secured her ankles together, and her legs below her knees, so that she would have to stay there.
Then it was Greta’s turn to make sure her husband could not stop me. Enya watched, wriggling in the tight ropes as Greta bound her husband’s wrists together behind his back, and then wound the rope round his arms and chest to make sure he could not move them either.
George than sat next to his daughter, the two of them talking as Greta knelt down and tied rope round his ankles, and his legs below his knees, me watching the whole time. I then knelt behind her and guided her hands behind her back, the other two watching as I made sure her wrists and arms were just as tightly secured as theirs were.
Both George and Enya were smiling as Greta sat on the couch, her legs stretched out as I secured her ankles and lower legs, before all three of them had lengths of sticking plaster pressed down over their mouths. I left them to try and talk, and break free as part of the game, while I went to the kitchen and prepared some drinks and snacks for them.
They would need it when they finally got loose…
Another family who asked me for help – for a different reason – were Bill and Rita. They had a three-year-old son, Tim, but they also liked to play tie-up games. Their fear was that Tim would walk in when they were playing a game, and be upset – so I said the best way would be to let Tim watch me help them play a game together.
When they came to my office, Bill was wearing a black fleece over a blue denim shirt, jeans and black shoes, while Rita had on a black shrug over a grey tunic, black leggings and knee length black leather boots. There were some toys on the floor, where Tim went to play, while I asked them both to kneel on the floor and put their arms round each other.
That allowed me to secure their wrists together behind each other’s back, while Tim sat in his red and white top and played with some cars. I then used a longer rope to secure their upper bodies together, while they shared a kiss.
Their ankles were next, and it was probably the rope squeaking on Rita’s ankles that Tim heard as he came over and looked at them both. Rita told him Mummy and Daddy were both all right – they were just playing a game, as I secured Bill’s ankles together, and then passed some rope round their legs above their knees to hold them there together as well.
Tim nodded as he watched me do this, and then I said I was going to make it so that Mummy and Daddy would sound funny. He watched as I peeled a length of tape from a roll, and pressed the white material over Rita’s mouth.
“Hsfhnnhshnht,” she said to Tim, who nodded and giggled as I covered Bill’s mouth in the same way. They tried to talk to each other, and then to Tim, who was laughing – and then said “can I have that too?”
So I pressed a small length of the white tape over his mouth, as he hugged both of them and they tried to talk to each other, perfectly at ease, nobody confused or afraid of what was happening…
Let me tell you one last story for now – Anne and Audrey were two young women who had fallen in love with each other, and were planning to marry. Both had daughters from their first marriages – two ten-year-old girls called Zoe and Zara. Both had been referred to me for counselling after they had been at a home visited by the Jay Edwards gang, and I had helped the girls to understand there can be fun in being secured and gagged.
But this had never happened to their mothers, so I offered to help them to understand. Which is why they were sitting in my office, having come in after I had made sure the girls were happy.
Zoe was wearing a blue dress that buttoned up the front, grey leggings and black and grey trainers, while Zara was wearing a long yellow dress with puffed sleeves, and pink ankle boots. Both girls, however, were sitting on a couch, their legs swinging to and for in front of them as their mothers saw the rope round their ankles and their legs, in Zara’s case gathering the skirt of her dress under the bands. Their hands were behind their backs, and there were bands of rope round their upper arms and stomachs – and both had a silver band of tape wrapped round their heads, a white edge visible underneath as their hair was trapped at the back of their necks.
Annie asked if Zoe was all right, and when both girls nodded I explained this was how Jay and his ‘friends’ would have left them – almost. Audrey asked what I meant by that, and I said to show her, they would have to be left as the mothers were.
Annie was wearing a black velvet dress, dark hose and black knee length boots, a brown wool scarf round her neck, while Audrey was wearing a grey and brown rugby shirt and jeans, the legs tucked into knee length dark brown leather boots, a red scarf wrapped round her neck. They both looked at me as the girls mumbled something and nodded, before I told them to stand in front of the girls, and put their hands behind their backs.
I had soft white rope prepared as they felt it forcing their wrists together, but both were talking to the girls, amazed at how calm they both were I suspect. That was only added to when I passed the rope round their upped bodies and pulled it tight. Trapping their arms against their sides and framing their chests as their tops were stretched over their breasts.
They looked at each other as I did this, their daughters giggling before I knelt down and crossed their ankles, securing them together and then their legs below their knees as Annie asked what was keeping them quiet. Zoe and Zara looked at each other as I secured the rope round Audrey’s legs, the white band on the denim, and said I would show them.
Their eyes opened wide as I compressed the red sponge ball in my hands, and then eased them into their open mouths, then wrapped the white tape round their heads to make sure the sponges stayed in there. The silver tape merely added to their quietude, as the girls nodded.
I then had them both lie on their stomachs on the floor, before I hogtied both of them, and then did the same to the girls as they lay on the couch. They were all happy, and I got the feeling they were going to be very happy together…
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