Family Counselling
– Group Therapy
Hello, and
welcome to one of my regular case study sessions. As always, I will not be using real names, to
protect my clients’ anonymity, but I hope to illustrate why my methods were
appropriate to the situation in hand, and what the end results were.
For my first
case study, let me refer to them as the Addams family- whether or not they were
Kooky I leave to your opinion. There was
the matriarch, Amy, her two daughters Sharon and Suzanne, and their sons – for
Sharon, we had ten-year-old Robert, for Suzanne eleven year old Steve.
They had
recently been the victims of another of those groups of ‘family friendly’ home
invaders that have been reported, and they wanted to work through a scenario to
show their sons there was nothing not to be afraid of in being unable to move
or talk. Now, from what I know of the persons
in question, and from what they said to me, they treated it as a game, so I
suspected this was more for the benefit of the mothers and grandmother, but
anyway.
I first got
Sharon and Suzanne to take care of their mother. Amy was wearing a black knee length dress
with elbow length sleeves, dark hose and knee length black leather boots. I asked Robert and Steve to sit and watch as
Amy sat in a chair, and I handed Sharon and Suzanne a roll of silver tape each.
They put Amy’s
arms on the armrests, palms down, and then used the tape to secure her arm to the
wooden chair arm. Sharon knelt in front of
her and taped her ankles together, and her legs below her knees, while Suzanne
wound her roll of tape round her mother’s upper arms and body.
As they wound
tape round Amy’s stomach and lap, I invited Robert and Steve to come over, and
press some silver tape over their grandmother’s mouth – a task they seemed to
enjoy.
It was ten the
turn of Suzanne and Sharon – both of the mothers were wearing patterned tops,
blue jeans and boots – Sharon was wearing high brown suede boots, and Suzanne
high black leather ones. I got them to sit
facing each other on the floor, and use zip ties to secure their sister’s
ankles together, before using a second one to secure their legs below their
knees.
I then gave
Robert and Steve the rolls of silver tape, and got them to tape their mother’s
wrists together behind their backs, and then wrap it round their upper bodies
to secure their arms to their sides – before they each gagged them with strips
of the tape.
I then sat with
them and watched as all three tried to get free, while they told me of what it
was like to watch them when the home invasion took place, and how they felt
because they were tied up and gagged as well.
It helps that they could explain their feeling sin that way, and get rid
of any residual fears they may have had.
It also helped
their mothers and grandmother – in slightly different ways…
Now, for my
second study, I want to show my methods are not just of use to young
families. I’ll call them Martha, Mary
and Philippa – three sisters in their twenties, who were curious as to what
would happen fi they were forced into a hostage situation together. They were referred to me by a friend who had
used my services for her family – so I called on them in their home.
All three had long
dark hair. Mary was wearing a red
peasant top, and jeans tucked into high black boots. Martha was wearing a black top with a knee
length red and black skirt, hose and black boots. Finally Philippa was wearing a blue blouse
with a floral print, tan leather trousers and matching ankle boots.
My first step
was to discuss how they felt about what was going to happen, and making sure
they all gave written consent before we began.
As with some families, I had decided to take this is stages – so I got
them all to sit against the wall, and bend their legs while I used some soft
rope to secure their ankles together.
They sat and
talked about how it felt, before I used more of the rope to secure their legs
together below their knees, watching as they twisted their legs from side to
side. Once they were comfortable with
how that felt, I asked them all to shuffle forward, and then went behind them, talking
to them and letting them talk to each other while I crossed and secured
together the wrists of each girl behind their backs.
I then asked if
they were happy for me to make sure their arms were kept by their sides, and
that was when Philippa asked if she could be excused. When I asked why, if she was afraid, she said
she only had one fear – what it might do to the child she was carrying.
Something which
was news to her sisters, so they congratulated her as I wound rope round both
Mary and Martha, Philippa blushing at what they were saying.
Once I had
finished, I said I was going to make it difficult for them to talk, but not too
bad. I rarely use a stuff gag, but it
was probably the right thing for all three of them, as one by one I rolled up a
white scarf and then gently pushed it into their open mouths. The edges stuck out from between their lips
as I let them try to talk, and share what they were each feeling.
They stayed
that way for about an hour before I freed Philippa – but she indicated I should
leave the gag in place, as she hugged each of her sisters and then sat watching
them for a while as well. As for me, I felt
they were safe, so I left them to sort themselves out…
For my next
case, I am going to do something that happens surprisingly rarely – when the
father and mother both seek help with their family. Norman was in his early thirties, as was his
wife Yvonne, and they had a nine year old son called Bertie. When I called on them, Bertie was sitting
reading in the front room, wearing a shite t-shirt with a logo on the front,
jeans and blue trainers. His father was
wearing a striped jumper, jeans and black trainers, while his mother wore a
blue dress with a cowl neck and a thin black leather belt, dark leggings and
knee length tan leather riding boots.
As we talked,
Norman explained that his son had been on line, and reading stories of a couple
I had heard of a number of times – the Games Players. He had then discovered, by accident, that his
cousins had been visited – and he had been asking questions of how it would
feel to be like that.
Well, I had
been referred to them because I have counselled some of those families, so I
said one way to do it would be to do just that – act out as if the Games Player
was visiting at home. But not with the
stocking mask – and when I explained to Norman and Yvonne what I was
suggesting, they both agreed.
So we asked
Bertie to come and join us, and I explained that his father and mother were
going to play a game like the Games Player with him – his mother was going to
make sure he could not speak or move, then his father would do the same for his
mother – and then I would take care of his father.
So Yvonne asked
Bertie to turn round and put his hands behind his back, as I taught her how to
secure her son’s wrists together. I then
showed Yvonne how to use a longer rope to fix his arms against his sides,
before he sat down.
Yvonne then
knelt on the floor, Norman and Bertie watching as I told her to do the same to
his ankles as she had done to his wrists, and finally to do the same to his
legs below his knees. We let him twist
round for a few minutes, while Yvonne rolled up a black silk scarf, and then
she pulled it between his lips, tying it round his head as a cleave gag.
He smiled over
the band as I asked Norman if he could do the same thing to Yvonne – and so, a
few minutes later, she was sitting next to Bertie, her hands behind her back
and rope round her body, ankles and legs while Norman cleave gagged her with a
second scarf.
They tried to
talk to each other, then watched as I made sure Norman was just like both of
them. It actually was quite nice to see
a whole family taking part in this sort of session, as he sat on the other side
of Bertie, watched as I secured his ankles and legs, and then cleave gagged him
as well.
The three of
them tried to talk to each other, as I noticed how the gags at the corners of
their mouths were getting darker, and feel comfortable in the way they
were. No fears, no scares, just a family
bonding…
A similar
approach helped Elaine with her family. When
hey called on me, Elaine was wearing a black jumper with silver stars on it, a
blue denim skirt, patterned tights and knee length dark blue denim boots. She had her three daughters with her. Eleven year old April was wearing a light
blue blouse, a knee length red skirt, white tights and dark red shoes. She had dark brown hair, while her younger
sisters and lighter, blonder hair.
May was nine,
and she was wearing a light grey top with a print on the front, grey leopard
print leggings, pink socks and grey sandals.
Then there was June, who was four years old, but dressed in the same way
as May.
As to why they
had called on my services – there was a real competitive streak between April
and May, and Elaine was at her wits end as to how they could do something as a
competition that was different. She had heard
that from time to time I do help families with – bonding experiences, and
wondered if this was something I could help her with.
I asked if she
wanted to help, but she declined, so I she sat with June while I talked to
April and May, and said I had a real escape challenge for them both to
try. They both said they would like to
try it, so as Elaine watched I started by making sure they both had their
wrists tied together behind their back with brown rope.
They both
gasped a little as I used longer lengths of rope to secure their arms to their
sides, and then helped them both to lie face down on the floor, their heads on
cushions as I secured their ankles together, their legs below their knees, and
then pulled their ankles back and tied them to the chest ropes. June had been watching all this, and then she
slid off the couch to look at both of them, giggling as I helped them to stay
quiet with some micropore tape over their mouths.
That was when June
surprised us all, and asked if she could be like them. Elaine was not too sure about that, soi said to
June it might not be a good idea – but what I could do was arrange for her to
be unable to move and talk on her mother’s lap, and her mother could watch over
her there.
Both June and
Elaine seemed to be happy with that arrangement, so I asked April and May to
wait before hey began, and I tied June’s wrists together in front of her, then
made sure her arms were secured to her wrists in the same way as her
sisters. June then lay on her back on the
couch Elaine was sitting on, her head on her mother’s lap as I secured her
ankles together, and her legs below her knees.
My last step
was to press some of the micropore tape over June’s mouth, and hearing her
giggle as her mother stroked her hair. I
then gave April and May the signal, and they started to try and escape as June
rolled onto her side and watched them, feeling safe and secure where she was.
A truly happy
time was had by all, even Elaine…
Sometimes, it’s
not the mother who brings someone to me – sometimes it is the grandmother, and
I am asked not to reveal to the grandchild’s parents what I have done. Well, patient confidentiality sort of covers
that anyway – which is how I reassured Rowan when she brought her six year old
grandson Tommy with her to my clinic.
As Tommy played
with some toys of the floor, Rowan explained how he had come into her home with
his mother, to find her trussed and gagged on her couch – and since then, he
had been rather quieter than usual.
I asked her if
she was worried about how he might feel about her, and she nodded, but wondered
if there was something else going on as well.
So as she watched, I knelt down next to Tommy and had a word with him. We talked for a while, before I asked him
what he was afraid of.
He said he wasn’t
afraid as such – but he wanted to know if he would be as brave as his
grandmother of that happened to him.
That surprised Rowan, and it surprised me as well, So I asked him if he
was cure of that, and he nodded – so I asked Rowan if she would allow me to do
something to her and Tommy to see if he was as brave.
So I asked
Tommy to put his hands behind his back, and I tied red ribbon round them to
hold them together. I then wound the
ribbon round his stomach and arms, so his wrists were held against his back,
before I asked him to watch while I made sure his grandmother was ready for him
to be with her.
So he stood, twisting
round as I tied ribbon round Rowan’s ankles.
She was wearing a blue patterned top, a blue skirt and white boots, the
red silk contrasting nicely as I tightened it.
I then secured her legs together below her knees, before I asked Tommy
to sit on her lap and she would give him a big, long hug.
Which is what
she did – and then I tied her wrists together in front of her and Tommy, before
I wound ribbon round his ankles and legs as well. Finally, I sued the last of the ribbon to
hold them both together – and then tied red scarves over their mouths as Tommy
snuggled into his grandmother’s chest.
He was as brave
as her, that much was evident…
Let me present
my final case for this session – Emily and Georgia Holmes were married, with two
daughters – ten year old Em, and eight year old Georgie. They had used my services in the past after
they had an encounter with a gang led by Jay Edwards – but it was their
anniversary, so they asked if I would do something special for them.
Of course I was
delighted to help them out – they were a true success story, and they trusted
me to look after them. So I hugged them
all as they came in. Emily had short
dark hair, and was wearing a light purple dress with a white lace trim, and
white heels. In contrast, Georgia had
longer and lighter brown hair, and was wearing a blue and green patterned dress
with black heels.
As for the
girls, they both had long brown hair, and were wearing similar clothe s- a long
sleeved denim blouse, pink layered taffeta skirts, white tights and black
boots. For Em, it was a dark blue denim
and knee length boots, while Georgie was wearing a light blue denim blouse and
leather ankle boots.
They were
certainly excited as I let them all have some food and drinks, before we began
with the girls sitting back-to-back on the floor, while Emily and Georgia each
picked up a long coil of white rope. I
asked the girls to link arms, before their mothers put a lasso over their upper
arms and pulled it tight.
They then moved
the girls wrists so that they were crossed on their laps, before wrapping the
rope around and between their arms to hold them together. From there, Emily and Georgia took the rope
down and secured their legs together below their knees, and then their ankles
before they took the rope back up and secured the end to their chest ropes. I then passed more rope round both of them to
hold them together.
The girls
nodded to show they were all right, as Emily and Georgia knelt in front of each
other, and put their arms round before crossing their wrists behind their
partner’s back. The girls then watched
as I used some more rope to bind their mother’s wrists, and then bind them to
their other mother’s ankles.
I then used
longer ropes to bind them at their legs, and then their upper bodies, before I
kept them silent the way they and requested – a compressed sponge in their mouths,
and white tape over their lips.
Oh I gave Em
and Georgie the same gags as well – it was them that and suggested to – and
then I left them alone, as Emma and Georgia kissed each other and the girls
started to try and get free.
In that way,
they all had a fun time…
So – does
anyone have any questions about what I have shared today?
Return to the Reflections index