Olympic Commentary

And the heats of the men’s 100 metres will be underway shortly


“Come on, Mum - they’ll be starting in a few minutes.”


“All right, all right – don’t wake your sister up, please.”


“Katy?  She’s dead to the world.  Come on!”


“Three am in the morning – what sort of time is that to have a race?”


Ten AM there mum.  Come on, sit down.”


“Which heat is he in?”


“Not sure yet – they’ve shown dad in the crowd, but that’s all.”


Brown, the exciting new British prospect, will run in the seventh heat of ten


“Well, we’ve got a little time to wait.”


“The first race is just getting underway.”


“Oh, oh….. OH!!  That’s amazing”


“I know – just over 10 seconds for the first heat.”


 “Are you all right, Mum – you just drew your dressing gown around your neck.”


“I know – can you feel that breeze?”


“Yeah – did you leave the kitchen window open?”


“Of course not – although I’d love a cup of coffee at the moment.”


“All right, I can take a hint – I’ll just be a few minutes.”


“Don’t be too long – the second heat’s about to get underway.”


“You watch it and tell me what happens.”


“All right – come on, come on…. Oh, that was a close one.”




“The race – it was a close one.  Hurry up, Lucy – I don’t even hear the kettle going on.”


“Mum, please….”


“What are you ripping in there, Lucy – I thought we just opened a cop of coffee.”




“Lucy?  Lucy, what’s…….”


“Just sit down, and don’t move.”


“Mum, I’m sorry – he was in the kitchen, and when I turned the light on he grabbed me.”


“You be quiet – is there anyone else in the house?”


“Katy, but she’s asleep.  Please – just put the knife down.  We won’t do anything stupid.”


“I know – and unless you want your other daughter down here as well, you’ll shut up.”




“Sit there, Lucy, and don’t do anything stupid.”


“Lucy, are you all right?”


“I think so – I can’t move my hands, but apart from that…”


“I thought I said to be quiet.  Now, lie down on that settee, withy our head at the top, and roll over onto your stomach.”




“Mum, please - just do as he says.”


“Listen to your daughter, mum – or she gets cut.”


“All right, all right – there.  Now what?”


“Did they just run the third heat?”




“Then watch the fourth, and don’t look at what I’m doing.”


“Mum, please – don’t get Katy involved in this.”


“Ow – that hurt.  Do you have to be so tight with that tape?”


“If I want you not to interfere, yes.  Now stay still or it will hurt even more.”


“Lucy, just sit still and we’ll get through this.”


“All right, Mum.”


“There – that should keep your hands safe.  Now keep your legs still.”


“You don’t have to do this – we won’t stop you.”


“Yes, I do – and I told you to shut up.  Right – roll over and you can put your head on this pillow.”


“Thank you – what happened in the race, Lucy?”


“The British guy won.  They’re going to start the sixth race now.”


“All right, Lucy – put your ankles together.”


“Mum, Lucy – what’s all the noise?”


“Tell her to go back to bed, or she joins us here – understand?”


“It’s all right, Katy – you go back to bed.  Sorry we woke you up – good night, sweetheart.”


“All right, Mum – good night.”


“Well done – and there – that should keep you two safe for a while.”


“Now what?”


“Now, you both stay very quiet while I search the house.  Can I trust you to do that, or do I have to make sure?”


“No, we’ll be quiet – if you don’t mind us cheering our son on in his heat.”


“Your son is running out there?”




“Well, don’t cheer too loudly.”


And the seventh heat is coming up next, with Brown in lane number 4


“Can you move, Mum?”


“No – whatever that tape is, he’s wrapped it too tightly around my hands.  How about you?”


“No – I can’t either.  Let’s watch the race.”


They’re on their marks…. Brown gets a brilliant start, and he leads the field at 50 metres.  He runs on, and….. Brown qualifies easily for the next round in 10.12 seconds.


“Good, good.  Lucy – did you see if he did anything to the phone?”


“Hang on – he’s pulled the wire out of the wall.  Why?”


“Damn – listen.  My handbag is at the side of your chair.  Maybe you can get to it and find my mobile phone in there.”


“Hang on – I’ll try and slide off the chair.”


“Careful….. Did you hurt yourself?”


“Only my pride – hang on, I’ll try and shuffle around.”


“Quietly, Lucy – you  don’t want him to come back.”


“Hang on, I’m almost there – got it.  Let me get the bag open and then……”


“And then you can let me empty it for you.  Back in the seat – and no shouting.  Your other daughter is sound asleep, and you don’t want to wake her up.”


“Damn – you can’t blame us for trying though.”


“No, I can’t – but I can do something about it.  Put your lips together.”


“I beg your pardon?”


“Put your lips together. Now, keep your head still……. There.”


“Mum, are you all right?”


“Ys, Lcy – m l rght.”


“Just don’t struggle.  If you relax, the time will pass quickly.  If you struggle, you will make yourself sick and choke.  Do you understand?”




“Your turn – lips together.”


“I ht u?”


“That’s all right – you ladies enjoy the rest of the commentary on the night’s events.  Be seeing you – not.”






“Whrs t rmt?”


And now we go to the men’s 50K walk…..