Beauty and
the Best – Burns Night
25th
January, 3 pm
Roberta Burns
smiled as she sipped from her coffee cup, before she said “of course I’ll be
having the usual meal tonight – although the girls may object once more.”
She smiled as
she looked at her seven year old daughter Anne, who was sat at the able doing
her homework. The young girl had long
brown hair, and was wearing a denim pinafore dress over a long-sleeved purple
top, with off white tights that had multicoloured stripes from above her knees to
her feet. Roberta was wearing a grey
jacket and skirt, with a peach-coloured blouse, dark stockings and black velvet
heels.
“So Frances is
cooking?”
“Of
course…” She smiled as she looked at her
two friends who were sat opposite her.
Jean McAdam was wearing a dark grey blouse and skirt with a white
blouse, while Agnes McLean had on a dark trouser suit with a light blue
blouse. Both women were also wearing
dark heels, Jean’s dark hose covering her legs.
In the kitchen,
Frances was adding salt and pepper to the pan she had placed the chopped swedes
in, and then added water as she looked at the potatoes in the second pan. The young woman had short dark hair, and was
waring a grey jumper and dark blue jeans, the legs tucked into knee length
black suede boots.
“Let me guess –
neeps and tatties?”
“Got it in
one,” Frances said as she turned and looked at the two teenagers. Sarah Burns was thirteen, and was wearing a
long sleeved dark grey dress with a grey patterned skirt over it, and mid-calf
grey fabric boots. Seventeen year old
Bess was wearing a black sleeveless dress with a short skirt, and white cowboy
boots.
“You two sure
you aren’t cold?”
“Heating’s
working – got our alternative available?”
“Pizza’s in the
fridge,” Frances said with a smile.
“Right – well,
we’ll be upstairs,” Bess said as the two girls left, Frances shaking her head as
she turned to the stove. When the
doorbell rang a few minutes later, she dried her hands and went to see who was
there.
“Can I… Oh…”
When the room
to the main door opened, Roberta looked over – and then slowly stood up as
Frances came in with two visitors. They
were a young man and woman - the man was wearing a black jumper and pants, the
woman a tight-fitting jumper with black leggings and over the knee suede
boots. They both had on black woollen
hats on their heads – and black eye masks covering their eyes, the dark eye
shadow making their eyes seem brighter.
The man smiled
as he looked round, Anne watching as he pointed a gun at her mother and said
“hello Mrs Burns – forgive the intrusion, but this is a robbery. Please, all of you, remain seated and keep
your hands where we can see them.”
“Mummy?”
“It’s all
right,” the masked woman said as she came over and looked at Anne. “What’s your name?”
“Anne…”
“Well, Anne, my
name is Beauty – and my friend is called The Best.”
“The Best?”
“That’s right –
The Best at making sure those families we visit are kept happy and
comfortable.”
“Are you really
robbers?”
“We are – but I
promise you, we don’t want to hurt you, your mum, or anyone else. We just want her money and valuables.”
“So why does
Frances have her hands behind her back?”
The Best smiled
as he said “turn round and show her.” Frances
slowly turned as all four saw the rope holding her wrists together behind her
back. “You see, we need to make sure you
cannot stop us – so we’re going to make sure all of you stay in this room.”
“And my
sisters?”
“I’ll go and
get them later,” Beauty said as she put down a bag she was carrying, and took
from it a length of white rope. “So, The
Best is going to tie the wrists of your mother and her friends behind her back,
and I’ll take care of you before I go and see your sisters.”
“Let her do it,
Anne,” Roberta said as she looked at The Best.
“Why are you doing this?”
“To survive – I
want you to talk over and get two more lengths of rope, and then you can stand
with me while I take care of your friends – please, introduce them.”
“This is Jane
and Agnes…”
“Well, ladies,”
The Best said with smile as Roberta
watched Beauty tie Anne’s wrists together behind the young girl’s back, “just
sit quietly, and we’ll make you all comfortable.”
“That feels
nice,” Anne said as she looked at Beauty.
“Good – now,
I’m going to use some more rope to make sure your arms stay by your sides, and
then you can go and join the others.”
The masked girl took a longer length of rope and tied it round Anne’s
arms and upper body, before the young girl walked over and sat on another
couch. She watched as The Best secured
the wrists of her mother, Jane and Agnes behind their backs, while Beauty used
ropes to secure her ankles together, and her legs below her knees.
“Now, will you
sit quietly while I go and get your sisters?”
“I might call
for help?”
“Not before I
go up…”
“It’s very quiet down there?”
Bess nodded as she
looked at Sarah. “Yeah – you ready for a
pizza?”
“I think so
what the…”
“Hello girls,”
Beauty said as she walked in, her pistol pointed at the two teenagers, “just
stay exactly where you are, and don’t make a sound. This, to use the phrase, is a robbery.”
“Shit…”
“I accept the
language,” Beauty said as she looked at Sarah, “but I need you to do exactly
what I say. I am going to have to bind
and gag both of you, but then I will take you to be with the rest of the
family.”
“You are
serious?”
“I am.”
“But why?”
“Why you? I will be hones t- we do this to survive, and
your family can spare some of your own resources to help us live.”
“You’re really
not joking are you?”
“No, Bess, I am not joking – now I need you both to
stand up, and turn with your hands behind your back.”
The two
teenagers looked at each other, before they did as Beauty had asked, both
looking over their shoulders as she used white rope to secure their wrists
tightly together behind their back. The
two girls looked at each other as Sarah said “got to admit – you make that look
good.”
“Thank you – I
also have to say your outfits suit you, although – a dress like that in
January?”
“The house is
warm,” Bess said – but then she felt the rope around her arms, forcing them against
her sides as she dress was stretched, and she said “ah…”
“I understand –
go with the flow,” Beauty said as she tied the ropes off, and then secured
Sarah’s arms to her sides in the same way.
The wo girls wriggled round, the bands of rope framing their chests, as
Beauty rolled up a white scarf.
“So – who wants
to be first?”
“Ullhkfhnnheee.”
“Sdhuh,” Sarah
said as Beauty walked the two teenagers into the front room. Both were cleave gagged, the scarf pulling
back the corners of their mouth as they looked at their mother, and then at the
three women on the other couch.
Frances, Jean
and Agnes all had ropes round their upper body, framing their chests as their
arms were held against their sides, and rope around their rankles and their
legs below their knees. They also had
rolled up black scarves pulled between their lips, as The Best said “ah good –
sit next to your sister, girls, and I will make sure your legs are secured in
the same way as the others.
“Whattbhhtmhm?”
“Well, she is
going to take a walk round the house with me, and then she can be like you
while your housekeeper finishes cooking your supper – including the pizzas she
has for you two young ladies.”
Roberta raised
an eyebrow as both Sarah and Bess blushed, then sat with Jean as the masked man
knelt to secure their ankles and legs, the rope going around and between their
limbs.
“So, how long
are you going to be here for,” Roberta said as she watched.
“As long as it
takes,” Beauty said, “but you will all eat – given your name, and the date?”
“The Great Chieftain
o’er the Pudding Race? Yes, I will – as
does Anne, unlike my older daughters…”
“Well, your
friends could partake as well,” Beauty said with a smile as The Bets stood up.”
“Okay – but why
do they have to be gagged as well, right now?”
“Safer for
everyone,” the masked man said as he helped Roberta to stand up. “Come – take me to where you keep your safe.”
“Are you all
going to be okay?”
All six nodded
as she walked off with The Best, Beauty smiling as she said “so – some music?”
“You say you
have to rob us to survive,” Roberta said as The Best walked her into an office,
“I don’t believe you. Do you get off on
tying people up or something?”
“Not really,
no, Roberta – I hope I am not offending you calling you that?”
“Would it
matter if I objected?”
“No – but I and
Beauty are telling the truth, Roberta. I
do not know how you view what is happening in the wider world, but people like
us literally are surviving hand to mouth every day. For some, they work three or four jobs. Beauty and I take a more – libertarian
approach, and think those who can afford to share should share with us.”
“Robbing the
rich to feed yourselves?”
“In basic terms
– yes, but trust me when I say this is what we have to do to be able to buy
food or pay rent.”
Roberta looked
at the masked man, before she slowly nodded and said “at least you are honest
about it.”
“We are – so,
the combination to the safe please, and then take a seat…”
“Shwtthdhwhthhlhrhsbhnds?”
Jean shrugged
her shoulders as she looked at Agnes, seeing the darker scarf at the corners of
her mouth. Frances shook her head as she
twisted round, the roe rubbing no her as Bess and Sarah nudged Anne.
“Uhkhhhh?”
Anne nodded as
she said “Htssshqhtnhss.”
“Rhhlhe?”
“Rhllhe…”
“That’s the
last tray,” Roberta said as The Best put the jewellery into a bag.
“Good – now, I
need to gag you before we go downstairs.
Then I’ll get your housekeeper to prepare some supper for all of you.”
Roberta nodded
as she opened her mouth, allowing The Best to pull the rolled up red scarf
between her lips, feeling it on her tongue as he secured the ends at the base
of her neck. He then walked her back to
the room, Beauty nodding as she untied Frances’ legs and escorted her out of
the room.
“I hope you all
are amenable to eating in here,” he said as Roberta sat down, and he secured
her ankles and legs in the same way as the others. “You will all eat soon…”
“I understand
why you think you need to do this,” Frances said to Beauty as she watched the
boiling pots, “but I’m not exactly rich, and I manage to survive.”
“You have a
good position,” Beauty said as she opened the pizzas, “so you are
fortunate. Not all of us are in the same
position. I know it seems extreme, but
we find it necessary.”
“Well, at least
you have not hurt any of us,” Frances said as she rubbed her wrists, “and I do
appreciate the help. Will you drain the potatoes
please?”
“Of course –
and then I will mash them…”
“Fair fa’ your honest, sonsie face,
Great Chieftain o’ the Puddin-race!
Aboon them a’ ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye wordy of a grace
As lang ‘s my arm.
The groaning trencher there ye fill,
Your hurdies like a distant hill,
Your pin wad help to mend a mill
In time o’ need,
While thro’ your pores the dews distil
Like amber bead.
His knife see Rustic-labour dight,
An’ cut ye up wi’ ready slight,
Trenching your gushing entrails bright,
Like onie ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight,
Warm-reekin, rich!
Then, horn for horn, they stretch an’ strive:
Deil tak the hindmost, on they drive,
Till a’ their weel-swall’d kytes belyve
Are bent like drums;
Then auld Guidman, maist like to rive,
Bethankit hums.
Is there that owre his French ragout,
Or olio that wad staw a sow,
Or fricassee wad mak her spew
Wi’ perfect sconner,
Looks down wi’ sneering, scornfu’ view
On sic a dinner?
Poor devil! see him owre his trash,
As feckless as a wither’d rash,
His spindle shank a guid whip-lash,
His nieve a nit;
Thro’ bluidy flood or field to dash,
O how unfit!
But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread,
Clap in his walie nieve a blade,
He’ll make it whissle;
An’ legs, an’ arms, an’ heads will sned,
Like taps o’ thrissle.
Ye Pow’rs wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o’ fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware
That jaups in luggies;
But, if ye wish her gratefu’ prayer,
Gie her a Haggis!”
“Thank you,” Frances said as The Best stood back,
Frances and Beauty placing plates on trays in front of everyone except Bess and
Sarah. When they got their pizzas, The
Best said “eat up everyone – it smells delicious.”
Looking at the clock, Frances said “so how much
longer?”
“A little while – once you have all eaten, we will
re-secure your upper bodies, and make sure it is difficult for you to raise the
alarm.”
“Girls…”
“We can manage, Mum,” Bess said, Sarah and Anne
nodding in agreement.
“Thank you for at least letting us tell our partners
we will be late,” Agnes said.
“Well, it would not do for them to worry,” Beauty said
with a smile. Although all of them had
their gags removed, and their upper bodies released, their ankles and legs were
still secured with rope.
“This is delicious,” Anne said as she ate some of the
oatmeal dish.
“Well, we can wait for a while for pudding,” Roberta
said as she also ate some haggis and potato.
“I only ask that we get a chance to go to the toilet before you re-bind
us.”
“Of course…”
“How do you know the Bard’s works anyway,” Sarah said
as she looked over.
“Do not judge a book by the cover,” Beauty said with a
smile. “O whit a gift ‘twould be tae gie
us, tae see ooreslfs as offers see us…”
“Look at me Mum!”
“Are you all right now,” Roberta said as Anne jumped
back into the room with Beauty. She had
been to the toilet, and now had her wrists secured again behind her back, ropes
round her arms and body in the same way as the others had been secured earlier.
“She asked that she be the same as everyone else,”
Beauty said, Sarah and Bess looking at their little sister. The two bands of rope were in place, but
there was also rope going under one arm, up and around the back of her neck,
and then under the other arm.
“So more secure”
“Like a big hug,” Anne said with a grin as Frances
came in, her upper body also secured in the same way as she jumped to the couch
and sat down.
“Yeah – yeah it is,” Bess said as all three wriggled
round. Bess had been allowed to put on a
white sweatshirt, so her arms were protected from the tight ropes rubbing on
her bare flesh.
“I’ll be back in a minute,” Roberta said as The Best
helped her to jump out of the room, while Beauty passed rope round Agnes and
forced her arms against her sides as well.
“So do we get the scarf gag again?”
“no, we’ll do something else,” the masked woman said
as she pulled the ropes tight, then fed them under one arm, up and around the
back of her neck, and under the other arm.
Agnes looked at Jean, whose jacket had been forced open by the tight
binding as well.
Beauty tied the ropes off, and then went back to the
bag, saying “now, I’m going to put something in your mouths, and then put some
special tape over it to make sure you really cannot talk to each other.”
“We could mumble.”
“But not talk,” Beauty said as she came over. “Want to be first, Anne?”
“Please,” the young girl said as she opened her mouth,
and felt the folded cloth on her tongue as Beauty gently pushed it in. She then closed her lips over it, hearing the
soft peeling sound as the masked woman removed a length of white micropore tape
from a roll, and then pressed it firmly down over her mouth and jaw.
“You okay, Anne?”
“Hmfhhnn,” Anne mumbled, both the teenagers seeing the
smile on her lips under the tape.
“And now, it is your turn…”
As Roberta came back in, she saw her daughters sitting
there, the rope holding their arm against their sides and the white tape
covering their mouths.
“Are you girls all right?”
All three nodded as Beauty applied the gags to Jean,
Agnes and Frances. The here women looked
at each other as The Best folded the cloth.
“Hwhntthbhehfmhm.”
He looked at Anne, then at Beauty who nodded as she
picked up Anne up and carried her over, sitting her across Roberta’s lap as the
young girl rested her head on her mother’s chest. Roberta leaned her head down and kissed Annes
head, then allowed herself to be gagged as well.
“Perhaps some appropriate music,” Beauty said as she
put a CD on, all of them listening to Loch Lomond as the two masked intruders
stood to the side.
“It’s time for us to go,” Beauty said as The Best checked
the bindings and gags of the captives.
“Fhknnsfhrlhkkhnhfthrhs,” Roberta mumbled.
“You’re welcome,” Beauty said as she turned the lights
off, the intruders slipping quietly out of the house.
“Whnsdhdhhmm?”
Roberta looked at the glowing clock face, and said
“Chpphlhhfhrrsss.”
“Hellbheshphrshhdd.”
“Hyhhsshhwhll…”
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