Family Secrets

 

Mom, what was Grammaís last name before she got married?

 

Kinderschmidt, why?

 

Well, I was just looking for something to watch and saw the credits for the old Margie Storm show and it had a Barbara Kinder listed as the special assistant to Miss Storm.

 

Thatís interesting, why donít you look on IMDB and see if it says anything.

 

 

An hour later

 

Okay Mom, I checked on IMDB and it says that Barbara Kinderís real name is Barbara Kinderschmidt and that she was the stunt double for Margie Storm for six seasons.

 

Well that is interesting, anything about her being my mother?

 

No, just that she was on that show, nothing after that.

 

Huh, maybe you should ask your grandmother, she never mentioned anything about being on a TV show.

 

A Week Later

 

Can I ask you something Gramma?

 

Sure honey.

 

Were you ever an actress?

 

No

 

Did you ever work on a TV show?

 

Why are you asking this?

 

I saw a credit on the Margie Storm Show for a Barbara Kinder and IMDB said that her real name was Barbara Kinderschmidt.

 

Margie Storm, I havenít thought about that for yearsÖYes, I did pay my way through college working on that.

 

Wow, what was that like?Were you actually part of the show, I mean one of the actresses?

 

Have you actually watched the show?†† I was in almost all of the episodes, but you probably wouldnít recognize me.Watch some and then tell me if you can recognize me.

 

A Couple Of Weeks Later

 

I watched a bunch of those shows on YouTube Gramma, but couldnít really tell if any of the actresses were you.

 

Did you notice anything about the show in general, anything about the skits Margie was in?

 

Not really

 

What about the ones where she was the bumbling private eyeís equally bumbling secretary?

 

Not really, but she did seem to get tied up a lot.

 

That was really me.

 

What?

 

It was an open secret back then that Margie liked being tied up, but didnít want it on her show and since her husband ran a major TV production company, she got what she wanted.So it would always show her starting to be tied up, or being captured, and then having the blindfold and gag removed, but the parts of her actually tied up were really me.

 

Wow, thatís really weird.

 

Yes it was, and what was even weird was that she was usually actually tied up, but never filmed.They said it made it easier to do the continuity for her rescue if we were both tied up the same at the same time, but since all that was ever shown was her head while the gag and blindfold were removed, it didnít make a lot of sense.But the money was good and they treated me really well.I got little Christmas presents from her right until she died. 

 

Wow, my grandmother the TV star.How come you never told Mom?

 

Just never came up.

 

A Couple Of Days Later

 

Really, wonder why she never told me.

 

Actually Mom, if you watch them on You Tube, you canít really tell who it is.   The woman who is tied up is dressed the same, has the same color hair styled the same way and really looks like Margie Storm.

 

You mean Gramma could just be making it all up, but what about IMDB?

 

Donít know, from what Iíve read, it isnít always that accurate, and Gramma did have that stroke and I know you donít want to hear it, but she could be starting on the A word.

 

Youíre right, I donít want to even think about that.

 

A Few Days Later

 

Tell me more about being on that show Gramma.

 

Not much more to tell, Margie liked being tied up, it made for good comedy back then to have a female assistant that was always getting into situations where she got tied up, but she didnít want her being tied up broadcast.So I paid my way through my masters degree being tied up three, or four hours, maybe two days a week, better than being a waitress.

 

And it didnít bother you being tied up?Wasnít it embarrassing or humiliating even?

 

Back then the sketches were all light hearted and in fun, it was a comedy show after all, not a true crime, make it as grisly as possible, like they do now.

 

So you werenít really tied up then, just sort of looked like it.

 

Oh no, we were really tied up, couldnít get out no matter what.

 

You mean Margie was really tied up too.

 

Not just her, but it was pretty well understood that if you were a woman and guest starred on The Margie Storm Show that you would be tied up and gagged somehow.Guess thatís why there were so few repeat female guest stars, and maybe why a few appeared three, or four, times a season.

 

Wow

 

You probably wouldnít recognize most of the women I was tied up with, but Iím sure that your mother would.

 

The Next Day

 

I donít know Mom, Grammaís memories about that show seem pretty clear and match the ones Iíve watched on You Tube.

 

Letís have her come over and we can watch a few together.

 

A couple Of Days Later

 

Do you remember this one Mom?

 

Thatís Lois Heaterton, she was one of the young blondes that Bob Hope would always take on his USO tours.I think she made a couple movies before getting married to some athlete and settling down into married life.

 

And thatís really you on the floor next to her fumbling around trying to untie her.

 

The blindfold makes it hard to recognize me.That was so you couldnít tell it wasnít Margie.

 

But Margie was really tied up just the same off camera.

 

Yup, still donít understand why she was tied up exactly the same, when all you ever saw of her was her head and face when the gag and blindfold were removed.  Seemed like kind of overkill for continuity.But it was her name on the title and her husband was the executive producer, and in complete control, so that is how it was, and the money was very good.

 

And being tied up like that and filmed didnít bother you?

 

Not really, a few hogties were a little tight, and sometimes they stuffed cloth into our mouths and had us try to talk, but it would just be humorously garbled. 

 

But werenít you embarrassed by the way your skirt rode up while you were rolling around on the floor?

 

They didnít ride up that much and besides nobody but the crew knew it was really me.

 

Wow Gramma.And you were really tied up, you couldnít get loose.

 

Yes honey, we were always really tied up.

 

I checked on IMDB and the list of female guest stars reads like a whoís who of Hollywood from the 40s, 50s, 60s and early 70s.

 

Yes it was, it really surprised me how often it was an Oscar winner lying there next to me, or tied on the chair next to me, or that one time when we were tied face to face and had to hop over to the door in our heels, that one took a few takes because we were either giggling so bad, or fell down before we made to the door.

 

Giggling

 

Around the end of the third season it almost seemed like going on The Margie Storm Show and getting tied up was sort of the in thing to do if you were an A list star, or wanted to be one.  So from then on keeping from laughing and giggling while we were tied up become a major problem.I never had a problem keeping my composure when I was alone, but when it was a 66 year old four time Oscar winner saying that it was the best gag she had in months, it was pretty hard. 

 

Wow, wonder what something like TMZ would do if a show like that was on today. 

 

Yup, it was a whole different thing back then.

 

OK, now I have to ask this, is that why you never seemed to mind when Jack and Bob tied me and my friends up, or when they asked to tie you up.

 

Uncle Bob and Jack used to tie you two up.

 

Well not that often.We were only tied up together a few times.

 

But a few of those were with my friends moms.

 

Wow

 

Had to show them that there wasnít anything wrong going on, just boys being boys type of fun.

 

Well those two slumber parties where they tied all of us up for six hours wasnít that much fun.

 

Donít worry dear, I was out of the way in the bedroom closet before they went down to where you and your friends were in the basement, and stayed that way until you and your friends started making noise about breakfast.

 

Wow Gramma and none of that bothered you?

 

It was all in fun, but a couple of times it did close to being a bladder emergency.

 

Yes, that was the worst part.

 

The producers and directors always made sure that we knew hours in advance, so we could plan accordingly, but your brothers didnít seem to be aware of it.

 

So who did the better job of tieing you up, Uncle Bob and Uncle Jack or the people on the show?

 

At the beginning Jack and Bob were pretty clueless, but after a year or so, when they tied me up, I stayed that way until they let me loose.

 

What about Aunt Barb, was she ever tied up?

 

Your Uncle Jack started with her and it seems that your Mother saw her tied up a few times and pestered your Uncle into tieing her up too.

 

I wouldnít say pestered, I just kept asking him and finally he did.

 

Anybody else get tied up?

 

You mean any other family members?

 

Yes

 

My mother babysat one afternoon and I came home to find her and your mother hogtied in the living room.

 

And you joined us Mom.But I donít remember any other times.

 

When you were away at camp, your uncles and cousins tied all of my sisters and sisters-in-law, my Mother, the older female cousins, and me up, during a family cookout.

 

Wow that must have been something to see.What did Grampa do?

 

They all said that they enjoyed the peace and quiet.

 

OK, youíve asked enough questions.Have you been tied up?

 

No

 

Not for years.

 

Maybe we should get together with your brothers and their families and see what we can do about that

 

TBC?? 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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