Family
Counselling Taped
I wanted to
take the opportunity to share some of the recent home sessions I have
undertaken, either to help people deal with traumas or to overcome their fears. As before, names and some of the details have
been changed, and all have consented for me to share these stories. The one thing they have in common is they all
involved using tape in some way…
The first case
was referred to me by a psychologist I had worked with before – it involved a
thirty five year old woman call Greta and her ten year old daughter
Imogen. They lived in one of the more
salubrious suburbs of a major English city, and had recently been the victims
of a violent home invasion, in which they had been taped together and threatened. My colleague knew they were having
difficulties coping with what happened, so he asked me to have a session with
them in their home.
When I called
round, Greta was wearing a black fleece with a pair of pink joggers that had an
equestrian themed print on them, while Imogen was wearing a long sleeved purple
top and black leggings. Both were
barefoot, and I was welcomed into their front room. We sat for a while over coffee, as I asked
them to share what had happened that day in their own words, formulating an
idea of how to approach my own methods with them.
It was obvious
to me that they had been through an ordeal, and that I would need to go gently,
but I started by telling them that sometimes the way to deal with a situation
that is causing distress is to face the situation head on, but take it
slowly. I asked them if they trusted me,
and when they nodded I took from my bag a large roll of duct tape. I could see they were scared, so I gave them
the roll to hold, and ask them if holding it scared them.
When they said
it didn’t., I asked them to sit on the floor, back to back, and hold each other’s
hands. When they had done that, I knelt
next to them, and used the tape to secure their wrists together on each side,
so that they were together. I could see
them giving each other a gentle hand squeeze, as I stopped and let them get
used to how that felt.
When they were
ready, I asked them to bend their legs and put their feet flat on the
floor. I could see the concern in their
eyes as I taped their ankles together, but I went slowly, and stopped as they
got used to how it felt. Only then did I
use the tape to secure their legs together above their knees.
I then took the
tape and used it to secure them together around their stomachs, fixing their
arms to their sides and their bodies to each other – but as I did so, I asked
them to talk to each other about how they felt, so they shared their fears and
their memories of that day. Once they
were secured together there, I did the same round their upper arms and bodies,
so that they were taped securely back to back.
Again, I let
them talk, calm down – and then I said I was going to cover their mouths with
tape, and they should just let everything go.
So I did that, and then they started crying – not out of fear, but
letting that fear go, and the relief of knowing they were safe.
I released them
after a half hour, knowing the first steps had been taken…
My neighbour
called on me and asked if I would do something for her six year old
daughter. She had come across this
on-line forum where people who one particularly notorious pair of home invaders
shared their experiences and she was curious as to how it felt to be unable to
move or speak. She trusted me to do this
for her.
So I called
round the next morning at about eight – her daughter was still wearing a pair
of blue pyjamas with a floral motif on them, her brown hair loose and wearing
glasses. Her mother was wearing a yellow
tartan hoodie over a black t-shirt and jeans.
I asked if she
really wanted to do this, and when she nodded I asked her mum to get the roll
of silver duct tape I had asked her to but the day before. Her daughter was genuinely excited, so when
she came back I asked her if she wanted to put some tape on her mummy’s mouth
first. She nodded, so I tore the strip
of tape free and watched as she knelt on the couch next to her mother, and
pressed the tape down over her mouth.
Her mother
nodded and smiled, the tape crinkling, as she took the tape and then covered
her daughter’s mouth with a strip. They
then both hugged each other as they looked at me while I took a photo with my
mobile phone, and then at my suggestion put two more strips over each of their
mouths.
I then asked
her if she could kneel on the floor, and tape her mother’s ankles together, and
then her mother would do the same for her.
So she took the roll, knelt on the floor and taped her mother’s ankles,
the hems of the legs of her jeans opening up over her bare feet.
She then sat
back down and watched as her mother taped her ankles together, and then at my
request taped her wrists together in front of herself. And that was when there was a knock on the
door.
I looked at her
mother, who nodded and indicated I should answer it, so I went – and standing there
was another woman with a six year old daughter.
She had long dark hair, and was wearing a black top with a round
neckline, as well as jeans. Her daughter
had a long sleeved purple top on with a circle of white stars.
She introduced
herself as the sister of the little girl’s mother, and said she had come round
to take part in the play session as well – in their own way. They walked in as I asked the mother if this
was true, and she nodded, so I asked the new arrivals to wait while I finished
with the first two.
Taking the
tape, I secured the mother’s wrists together behind her back, and then helped
her daughter to lie with her heads on her mother’s lap. They then both watched as the new arrivals
took the tape and covered each other’s mouth with strips – but then the older woman
took a black Sharpie pen from her handbag, and drew a set of lips over the tape
on the younger girl’s mouth.
When her
daughter had done the same, they both put on sunglasses and posed on a double
seat while I took their photo – and then invited them to tape each other’s
ankles, before her mother taped the younger girl’s wrists together in front of
her, and I taped her wrists together behind her back.
That was my cue
to go and prepare some drinks while they all tried to get free….
I was asked to
call to see a grandmother, who was concerned about the fact her daughter had
not been able to open up about something, and she knew it was connected to an
event that had taken place at her workplace.
Specifically, an armed robbery.
When I called
at her house, she smiled as she opened the door, and introduced herself as
Agnes. She was wearing a blue t-shirt
and grey joggers, and by her side was a five year old girl, looking up at me as
she stood in a pink fleece and skirt, with a purple Frozen t-shirt under the
fleece.
Agnes told me
this was her granddaughter, Judy, and that her mother was in the front room
with her grandson. I followed her in as
she introduced Polly, a woman in her mid-thirties with dark hair pulled back, wearing
a long sleeved pale blue top with a round neckline, and faded jeans with a
white belt which were ripped at the knees.
Next to her was
a ten year old boy, who Agnes said was called Paul. He was wearing jeans and a white sweatshirt. He had white socks on, while Polly was
wearing black socks.
I asked if she
wanted to talk to me alone, but both Agnes and Paul shook their heads, so while
Judy sat with her grandmother I sat next to Polly, holding her hands as I asked
her to tell me what happened that day.
Well, it was
quite a harrowing story, but when she had finished she started to cry, Paul
sitting with her and holding her as she thanked me – and then asked me what I
was proposing to do next. I said the
best way to move forward is to face the fear of what happened – and that was
when Paul said he wanted me to do anything to him before I did it to her
mother.
I looked at
Polly and Agnes, before Agnes said Paul was very protective of her daughter, so
I agreed before I took from my bag a roll of black tape. Looking at Paul, and given what his mother
had told me, I told him to sit with his hands balled together in front of
himself. As he did this, I peeled the
edge of the tape loose from the roll, and then taped his wrists together,
before I put some strips over his fists so that they covered his fingers as
well.
He held them up
and turned them around, and then nodded to his mother before Polly allowed me
to secure her wrists and hands together in the same way. She leaned over and kissed Paul’s head as
Judy got off the seat where she was next to her grandmother, and looked at both
of them.
I then knelt
down and taped their ankles together, the black band clearly visible over their
jeans, before I asked Paul if he was ready for me to cover his mouth. He nodded, and so I made sure several strips of
the tape were pressed gently into place.
He sat still for a few minutes, and then looked at his mother and nodded
– which was when I made sure Paula was silent as well.
They sat
together looking round for a few minutes as I told them to relax, and accept
what the feelings inside them were – and that was when Jane said she wanted to be
like them.
Well, I didn’t
want to use the black tape for her, but I had a roll of masking tape – and so,
a few minutes later, Jane was sitting on her grandmother’s lap, giggling
through the light brown tape with her wrists and ankles secured together as
well. I left them happily playing together
as Agnes assured me she would release them.
Eventually.
The last case I
want to talk about today was a woman who was seeing me for an unrelated item,
but mentioned that her daughters wanted to surprise her with something. I asked what, and all she said was they wanted
to talk to me.
It was a little
unusual, but I called at her house to meet with fourteen year old Casey and
eleven year old April. Casey was wearing
a pink hoodie, dark blue leggings and white socks, while April had a green cardigan
on over a white polo shirt, black leggings and black ankle socks.
I asked them
what they wanted me to do, and they said they wanted to surprise their mother
by someone making it look as if they had been robbed. Apparently, this was to prepare her for something
they wanted to do for Christmas – and I didn’t need to ask what that was.
Which is why I
asked them to make sure they did not need to go anywhere, and then had them sit
next to each other in a corner of the room, their legs bent and their arms round
their legs.
I started by taping
their ankles together with silver duct tape, and then secured their wrists so
that their arms were round their knees.
Nothing more or less than that before I taped over their mouths, and
left them to greet their mother while I waited in the kitchen.
Put it this way
– after the initial shock, she joined them…
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