The Cat Comes Back
It’s strange
sometimes how going back to places you have not visited for years make memories
come back, even if the buildings or the landscape has changed completely. I can’t go back to the West End of Newcastle,
for example, without remembering the large tower blocks that used to be
there. They were demolished years ago,
but I can still see them.
Why am I
thinking about this? Well, a few weeks
ago I was in Great Yarmouth, and as I walked to an appointment I passed a house
that had a cafe in the downstairs part.
It was a nice enough cafe, but I remembered
when I visited it nearly forty years ago – at that time what is now a cafe was
actually a flat, and the reason I remember it was the two charming ladies I was
surprised to find in residence when I visited.
I had seen
through the open window they had great taste in furnishing and paintings – so I
presumed they would have similar taste in smaller, more portable objects. So I nipped around the building, over the
wall and into their back yard,
Forcing the
back door was not an issue – in those days, all you needed was... Nah, trade secret. Anyway, I was soon inside and went into the
first bedroom, looking through the drawers when I heard a voice say “Well,
hello.”
The girl was
wearing a long brown corduroy coat, over a matching jersey minidress,
and black knee length boots with square heels.
“Hello,” I
said quietly, “it would appear that you have caught me in the act of robbing
you.”
“So it would
appear,” she said quietly as she walked in.
I noticed the way her hair fell in soft waves, before she said “the
question is, what are you going to do about it?”
“Well,” I
said as I walked forward, “I would ask you not to raise the alarm, and kindly
lie down on your bed, crossing your wrists behind your back, so that I could
tie you up and take your valuables.”
She looked at
me, her head to one side, and said “Well, at least you’re polite about it, but
you may have an issue with my flatmate.”
“Is she here
at the moment?”
As she
nodded, I said “lie down – first things first.”
So I watched as she lay on the bed, before I took the belt from her
bathrobe which was hanging on the back of the door, and used it to secure her
wrists together. I then looked in her
wardrobe, and found the cloth belt for a long coat, which I used to secure her
ankles.
“Oh
my... Are we being robbed?”
I turned to
see the obvious flatmate, her blonde hair cut like an actress, wearing a light
blue v-necked short sleeved sweater with a white trim, a blue and white checked
short skirt, and Mary Jane shoes.
“You are,” I
said quietly as I looked at both of them.
“Please, lie next to your flatmate, and let me make you comfortable.”
I took two
long scarves from the wardrobe and used them to secure the wrists and ankles of
the new arrival, before I searched the other rooms as well as that one. I made sure all the knots were tight, and out
of reach of their well manicured fingers, so that when I returned they were
lying facing each other.
“My
apologies,” I said as I used two neck scarves to gag them both, and made my way
out as quickly as possible through the front door – the same one I was passing
just then...
South London,
particularly around the Brixton area, has always been a place with a highly
vibrant and ethnically mixed community.
I was asked recently as a favour to an old friend to call on a house
down that way and advise them on some security issues – but it was only when I
actually got to the house I realised it was a place I had visited in the early
eighties, and met a very friendly family there...
I had broken
into the house in the late evening, climbing through an upstairs window having
spent enough time checking front and back that there were no lights on. Naturally, therefore, I fell foul of Murphy’s Law of housebreaking – the very moment you
think you’re secure is the time someone is going to
come back.
I walked out
into the lobby, and as soon as I did so I heard someone say “Who’s there?” Staying as still as I could, I listened and
didn’t say a word, before the door opened in the hallway downstairs and I heard
the same voice call more clearly “who’s there?”
At this
point, I was thinking of getting back out, but I could hear footsteps walking
quickly up, so I decided the only thing to do was brazen it out. So I slipped into a doorway, and waited as
this African American woman, wearing a white jacket and flared trousers, walked
by me.
Coming behind
her, I put my hand over her mouth and said “It was me – now, keep quiet, don’t
struggle, and do exactly what I say, understand?”
“MMyydssss,” she mumbled as she nodded.
“Good – very
slowly, very carefully, walk in front of me and back down the stairs. I won’t hurt you unless you do something
stupid, all right?”
She nodded
and walked in front of me, my hand clamped firmly over her mouth as we went
down, and into the front room. I could
now see the heavy drapes which blocked out the dim light from a standard lamp –
and the two young women sitting in the chairs.
Both had dark curly hair, one wearing a white waistcoat and trousers
with a pale blue blouse, the other a brown jacket and flares over a white
blouse, a pattered scarf folded into a band and tied around her neck.
“Your
daughters,” I whispered, my captive nodding as I said
“My apologies for the intrusion ladies – kindly remain calm and seated where
you are unless I say you can move.”
They both
nodded as I looked over, and then said “you – take off your scarf and come over
here.”
The taller of
the two women stood up, removing the scarf from round her neck as she walked
over. “When I remove my hand,” I said
quietly, “I want you to use that scarf as a gag between this woman’s lips,
understand?”
She nodded
and said “I’m sorry, mum,” as she used it as a cleave gag, me holding her as
the other woman just watched.
“All right –
you,” I said as I looked at her, “do you have any rope in the house?”
“I think so –
why?”
“Go and get
it – meanwhile, you two, lie face down on the floor. I have a gun, and while I have no wish to use
it, I will if need be.”
Yes, I was
lying – but they didn’t know that, as the two women lay face down, their hands
by their heads.
“This... This
is all I could find,” she said as she came back with several long lengths of
cord.
“Good – kneel
down, and tie their wrists together behind their backs, nice and tightly,” I
said, looking at her as she knelt down and used one of them on what was
apparently her mother. She knew what she
was doing, as she tied them securely, and then looked at me.
“Ankles as
well,” I said quietly, watching as she tied their ankles together, before
standing up.
“Nice job,” I
said quietly, “now, lie down on the couch, and put your own hands behind your
back.”
She said
nothing as I secured her hands and wrists, and then went out to the hallway,
returning with two more scarves which I used to cleave gag the two younger
girls. I then robbed the place, checked
they were unharmed as the girl who helped me watched on her side, and got out of
there as quickly as I could.
So naturally,
I suggested good security for the upper floors...
I read in the
paper of a fire at a cottage in Derbyshire – the occupants were out, which is
just as well given the place was burned to the ground, but I remembered it from
the year 1988...
I had visited
an antique fair in Buxton, and while there had seen a woman, in her late
fifties with permed brown hair and large glasses,
purchase a pair of antique snuff boxes.
She was wearing a grey jacket over a white and pale blue woollen jumper,
white slacks and a pair of black shoes.
Anyway, I was
driving home when I saw a car pull out in front of this cottage, and I saw the
woman come out, carrying her bags as she went into the cottage. In the doorway, I could see a younger woman
with two children, and thought no more about it until I saw a car parked a
short way down the road.
A car I
recognised as belonging to a couple of not so gentlemanly thieves, and I could
see one of them was sitting in the car, looking at the cottage. I realised he was casing the house, and I
knew from their rep they would likely break in during the early hours of the
morning. If there were kids there, that
was not good news.
I had to stop
them, but at the same time not raise their suspicions – which meant I had to
lay a small trap for them. With some help. I
drove round and came back, parking my car a distance away in the opposite
direction before I walked back across the fields to the rear of the building.
As I came
closer, I heard the front door open and close, and a car drive away, so I let
myself into the back door and waited, the television playing in the front
room. Eventually, the woman came into
the kitchen, and saw me sitting there.
“Don’t raise
your voice,” I said quietly, “and don’t ask me how I know, but your house has
been targeted for a robbery, and with children on the premises that may not be
a nice thing for them to experience. Your grandchildren?”
She nodded
and whispered “two girls. Why can’t we
call the police?”
“I want this
particular pair dealt with,” I said quietly, “but to do so, I need your
help. First, I do not want the kids to
know I am here, so please, keep them out of here.”
“And then?”
“I need you
to do something very brave, and which will inconvenience you a little. Now, take care of your girls – I will wait in
here.”
Sometime
later, she came down and said “They’re asleep – now what?”
Looking at my
watch, I said “I’m going to make it look as if you have already been robbed,
and then call a friend I have in the local force, let him know what’s
planned. I’m not going to rob you, but I
am going to tape you to this chair.”
Standing up,
I moved it into the centre of the room and said “please sit down.” Once she had done so, I taped her wrists to
the chair back with some duct tape I had found, and then taped her legs to the
front legs of the chair around the ankle and thigh.
“Purse your
lips for me,” I said, and as she did so I taped over them, several strips
pressed firmly down, before I picked up her phone.
“DCI Drummond
please.
“Bulldog?
Yes, it’s me. Want the Mancini
boys?
“Good –
listen carefully...”
It was after
midnight when I saw the two men walk to the back door and go in, followed by
several police officers, from the comfort of my car. Hearing the tap on the window, I wound it
down to see “Bulldog” Drummond smiling at me.
“We’ll keep
you out of this – thanks again,” he said with a smile before I drove off...
Walking down
the King’s Road, I passed a fair number of shops that have either closed or
been converted for other uses. As a cat
burglar, I rarely if ever robbed a business, but passing one door reminded me
of a rare exception to that rule.
It was a
retro clothes store, in about 1992, and specialised in outfits from the sixties
and seventies. It was owned by the
daughter of an old acquaintance, who had fallen in with a rather unsavoury young
man. The sort of young man no father would
feel his daughter should date.
So over a
quiet pint, he told me about his worries, and especially the fact he thought
said young man was stealing from his daughter’s hard earned takings. Such dishonesty needed to be dealt with, so
we devised a plan to show her the error of her ways.
It was a late
Saturday afternoon when I walked up to the boutique, wearing a black jacket
with the collar turned up, jeans and work boots. When I walked in, she was talking to a
customer, before that young woman walked out.
The daughter was wearing a bell sleeved chiffon dress with a short skirt
and a floral print, under a leather waistcoat with a fringed hem that come to
the edge of the dress. She had a red
band holding back her grey-blonde hair, knee length mustard coloured go-go
boots, and a Peace sign pendant round her neck.
“How can I
help you,” she said as the door closed.
“Actually,
I’m here to help myself,” I said as I turned and locked the door, moved the
sign to closed, and then turned back to show her the starting pistol I had
taken from my pocket. “I want you to
come into the back shop, and don’t say a word.”
“Oh god,” she
said quietly, “please don’t...”
“Shh,” I said as I took her arm and walked her into the
stockroom. There was a wooden beam
running from floor to ceiling, and as I looked round I could see she had a
clear view of the till from there. So I
made her stand in front of it, took her arms around the wood and bound her
wrists tightly together, before using more rope which I had brought with me to
secure her upper body to the wooden support.
Kneeling
down, I tied her ankles together, and then her legs below her knees, as she
said “Just take what’s in the till, please, but don’t hurt me.”
“Hush,” I
said as I stood up, and peeled the backing paper off a strip of brown sticking
plaster before I pressed it firmly down over her mouth. “Watch, and say nothing.”
She looked at
me, and then watched as she heard the shop door open and close again. I stood behind her, saying nothing as the
young man came in, looked quickly round, and then opened the till before helping
himself to some of the notes.
She watched, eyes wide open at fist in disbelief, then narrowing
in anger as he walked back out of the shop again. I took out a nail file, and pressed it into
her hand as I said “You needed to see that, and note I have taken nothing. Free yourself, and then do what you must.”
I met my
friend again a few days later, and he told me the two of them had split, after
she accused him of stealing money – and then brought the police in. Very satisfactory.
I’ll tell you
what really brought a few memories back, though – I went to a pub I had not
been to in years, and they were having a Country and Western night. One of the singers was a dead looker for a star in 1977 called Cindy McCall, who I
visited one night...
Country music
was rife in the charts then, and very profitable – and I knew this from the
range and choice of jewellery I was helping myself to in her West End flat, as
well as some bags of coins and other items.
I was about
to leave when the light went on, and there she was – five foot four tall, with
strawberry blonde hair cut in a bob, wearing a blue bib dress with a plaid trim
on the bib and the hem, a red t-shirt underneath, and long golden tan leather
boots with a short heel.
She looked at
me, I looked at her – and then she smiled as she said “Are you the man the
papers call The Cat?”
I nodded, and
she smiled even more as she said “then I guess I’ve really made it – if you
think me worthy of visiting.”
I never quite
got over the idea of me robbing someone as a status symbol, but the papers had
made a great deal of my exploits, so I said “Well, in that case, you will not
mind if I have to stop you raising the alarm.”
“I don’t have
a choice, little old cowgirl me,” she said quietly, “there’s a coil of washing
line in the kitchen you can use. Come
with me and I’ll show you.”
She walked to
the kitchen with me, and took out from under the sink the sealed cotton washing
line, handing it to me and saying “I guess you have to tie me up like a cowgirl
as well?”
“IF that is
what you want,” I said as I shook the rope out, made a lasso with one end, and
passed it over her body, pulling her arms into her sides under her chest. She giggled and nodded as I wound the rope
round several times, above and below her chest, and then tied the rope round
the lower band before saying “Come – lie down and cross your wrists on your
lap.”
“yes, mister
robber,” she said as we went into her front room, and she lay on a long
recliner, watching as I used the rope to secure her wrists together, then
wrapped it down round her legs before tying her ankles together, using the last
end between her legs to cinch it and then tying it off to her wrists again.
I then went
outside, and found a red bandana, rolling that into a band and tying a knot in
it before using that as a gag, and then turning the radio on. The dulcet sounds of the radio station kept
her mumbles to a minimum, as I left her with my finds.
Memories
– always nice to look back on. Do you agree?
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