The Cat
Graduates
Ah yes, I do
still remember the month I completed my apprenticeship - it was a very
interesting time, with a lot of things I had to do in order
to be approved by The BA as a qualified cat burglar.
The first was
the last job I did with my mentor it was at the time of the Cheltenham Races,
and we made our way into a nearby hotel with the intention of making sure one
of the guests at the races donated generously to us. He was taking a back seat
as the lookout I was in the driving seat, as I opened the cases and found some
nice pieces of jewellery inside.
So, of course
it was my bad luck that just as I was closing one particular
case, the person in question walked into the room. She was wearing a
white top with a Peter Pan collar and short puffed sleeves, and a pair of black
baggy pants, the lower half of which were tucked into a pair of knee fawn suede
boots which were tightly laced up to her knees at the front. She also had a
large white straw boater on her short dark hair and an expression of total
surprise as I put my finger to my lips, and pulled an old wooden chair out from
a desk, indicating she should take a seat on it.
I regret to say
that speed was of the essence in my mind, as I took from under the jewels in my
bag a roll of silver tape, placed her arms on the armrests with her hands palm
down, and secured her arms to the wooden supports. I then wrapped the tape round
her waist and the chair back, and around her upper arms, before I knelt down and taped her ankles together. It seemed a shame
to damage what were obviously designer boots, but I had to make sure she could
not raise the alarm, while still ensuring I did not hurt her.
The last thing
was to press strips of the silver tape over her mouth, to keep her quiet,
before I slipped out of the room with my bag, my mentor who had been watching
in the shadows the whole time following me out. He complimented me on a job
well done, and said that was the last time he felt he had to accompany me but I
would be asked to make four visits, and assessed on how I coped with and
collected whatever I may find there.
Remember this
was the mid-seventies, so the younger generation did like to dress both in line
with the rules, and also in their own style. The first
house I was told to visit had to be visited between 4 and 6 in the afternoon,
and the people who lived there worked in the nearby town and would be out of
the house then. Something, however, told me there was going to be an
unannounced challenge in this visit, so I went suitably prepared.
Th bathroom
window had been left open, so I gained entrance to the house that way, and had
a productive search around the upstairs room. It was as I walked down the
stairs I heard the music suddenly start to play and when I looked in the front
room, there was a seventeen year old girl there with
long black hair, wearing a white blouse with short sleeves and a short red
tartan skirt and a pair of knee length black leather boots with a block heel,
the tops of the black stockings visible as she danced round.
It was the daughter
of the family, who had obviously finished school early or more likely sneaked
off early. So she was naturally taken by surprise by the leather gloved hand
that I placed firmly over her mouth, as I told her not to struggle, I was not
going to hurt her just make sure she could not raise the alarm for a while.
My voice was at
least persuasive, as I told her to sit on the couch, and not say a word as I
tied her wrists together in front of her with thin twine. I then knelt down and secure her ankles together, and then bound
her legs together above her knees.
I then made her
sit along the couch, and lifted her legs up before I tied her wrists down to
the band around her legs. I tried to ignore the glimpse of the top of her
stockings as I rolled up a black scarf and cleave gagged the young lady, she
watched me as I went round the room and helped myself to some pieces of
antiquity that had been on prominent display on the shelves.
I then checked
she was still secure, before I made my way out of the
house at about five thirty and got away as far and as quickly as I could. I had
at least prevented her raising the alarm and learned a valuable lesson.
Be prepared is
indeed a worthy creed.
The next thing
I had to be assessed on was how I dealt if there was more than one person
resident when I visited as I discovered when I entered the rear of a house in
the Dulwich area of Manchester. The home belonged to Diana Poole a star of one
of the soap operas that was being produced in the aera at the time. A woman in
her early thirties, with long blonde hair, and as I looked in the room that
afternoon she was wearing a long-sleeved Bibi dress, with ruched upper body and
sleeves, and billowing lower sleeves and skirt. The dress was cream, with a
brown pattern printed on it, and she was wearing long laced black leather
boots.
It was who she
was with that caught my interest. Her name was Noelle Jameson, a fellow actress
on the soap, with long curly brown hair and wearing a black jumper, a long grey
silk skirt with a black rose print, and tight black leather boots as well as an
expression of joy on her face as they kissed.
Replaced by the
look of fear as she saw me in my black jumper and pants, and the dark glasses
as I told them both not to move I was just ging to make them both very
comfortable. Diana asked me as she looked back what I meant by that and then
she saw the lengths of rope in my hand, and swallowed.
I invited them
to stand facing each other, and to put their arms round each other, before I
placed the ropes on the seat they had been sharing, and used the first length
to secure Noelle’s wrists together behind Diana’s back, making sure the binding
was cinched between her arms. I then walked round and secured Diana’s wrists
behind Noelle’s back, so they at least had the pleasure of holding each other.
I then told
them both to kneel down, which they did with my help,
before I knelt behind Diana and started to bond her ankles tightly together. I
glanced up to see them kissing each other, as I made sure that binding was
tight, and then ran a length of rope between Diana’s ankles and Noelle’s wrists
so that she could not really move.
I then moved
behind Noelle and made sure her ankles were secured together and to Diana’s
wrists, but they kept kissing each other, not really just
to distract themselves from what was going on, to be fair.
I left them to
console and encourage each other as I availed myself of the opportunity to
search Diana’s house for valuables, and also to
collect two chiffon scarves from her bedroom. These I used to at least muffle
any attempts they may make to call for help by employing them as cleave gags
but something told me they were too busy keeping each other happy to think of
calling for help for a little while
It was dawning
on me now they were selecting targets for me that may
pose some of the more off the wall problems I might encounter. My next one was
a basement flat in the Southall area of London a very nice flat, actually, and the woman who lived there had some lovely
items that were truly of value.
The loveliest
item, the one of the greatest value, however? That I
was not able to take because when she walked in on me, I saw she was about
seven months pregnant. She was wearing a pale blue bib dress that covered her
bump, but still was a mini style, over a floral print blouse with short, puffed
sleeves and a pair of red knee length leather go-go boots.
The first thing
I did was to speak calmly to her, assure her she was not in any danger, and sat
her down on a long couch as she managed to calm herself down after the surprise
of seeing me. She sked me what I was doing there, and I was honest with her I was
robbing her, but I was also going to make sure she could not raise the alarm
but I would make sure she was as comfortable as possible, and do nothing that
might actually distress the new life that was growing
inside her.
She nodded as I
took from my bag a skein of cotton rope, which I unravelled and doubled over
before I told her to sit quite still, with her hands on her lap. Once she had
done this, I passed the rope round her upper arms and gently pulled it tighter,
forcing her arms against her sides so that they were held in place.
I then invited
her to stand up, and took the rope down her back before I wound it round her
waist, under the bump, and then around her wrists to hold them firmly together.
I then put a pair of cushions on the arm of the couch, and helped her to lie on
her back before I played the rope out, and secured her legs together below her
knees, and finally around her ankles. I asked her if she was comfortable, and
smiled as she nodded and I stroked her hair away from her eyes.
I then said
that, regrettably, I had to keep her quiet, and was she allergic to cloth
plasters. She shook her head, and then I pressed a length of brown Elastoplast
down over her mouth to keep her quiet before I searched the rest of the flat.
I checked she
was all right, and then made my way out calling the police to inform them of
her predicament an hour later, once I was far enough away.
You can see the
pattern, can’t you unexpected arrival, two together, someone who had to be
treated with due care and consideration? So why was I not surprised at my next
assignment? I was though
I was in
Ruislip, a charming town in the northwest of London, and having taken the
Metropolitan line out there I was walking to a residential area nearby, and
found the address I had been given. Nice little terraced house on a leafy
avenue and the front door was open as well, as I made my way in.
I could not
hear anyone actually in, so I walked to the staircase,
but when I stepped on the first step I heard a female voice say “who’s there?”
I walked into
the front room to see a woman in her thirties sitting there, wearing a zipped
top with chocolate brown, red and cream panels over a purple roll neck sweater,
a black mini skirt and white knee length boots. She had long brown hair, and
had a book on her lap as she said “I can hear you who are you?”
I then looked
at her eyes, and walked forward, seeking the slight shake in her hand as she
moved it over the bumps on the pages of the book.
“Who is there?”
“Don’t be
afraid,” I said quietly as I sat next to her, “I promise you; I am not going to
hurt you.”
“You have a
kind voice may I know your name?”
“John and may I
know yours?”
“Morag tell me,
John, why are you in my house?”
“I am here, I
regret to say, as a robber. Does that frighten you?”
“No you have a
kind voice, so I know that you mean me no harm,” she said as she smiled. “But I
suspect that means I will not be able to read my book for a while.”
“I regret to
say, you will not may I turn the radio on for you?”
“That would be
nice, thank you,” she said as I walked over and turned on the player. As the
sounds of David Hamilton’s voice came over the air, she smiled and said “Well,
whatever happens, I will be entertained. I presume you are going to tie me up
and gag me, like on the radio plays?”
“I have to, yes but that is all. You believe me, don’t you?”
Morag nodded as
she said “So, do I put my hands behind my back?”
“Please.” I
watched as she turned slightly and closed her book, letting it go to the floor
before she moved her hands behind her back.. I drew from my bag a length of
thin white cord, and made sure her wrists were secured tightly together behind
her back.
“Surprisingly
comfortable,” she said as she smiled, and I knelt in front of her, using
another length of cord to make sure her ankles were secured together as well.
She twisted them round, hearing the squeak of rope on leather and leather on
leather, and then nodded as she said “so how are you going to keep me quiet?”
“I could trust
you to keep your word and not call for help.”
“And would you
do that for anyone else?”
I had to
confess, she did have a point there, so I rolled up a black scarf, tied a knot
in the middle, and then pulled the knot past her teeth and into her mouth
before I tied the band round her head, and left her sitting there, taking to
her while I searched the room, and then briefly visiting the bedrooms before I
bade her a good afternoon, and made my way out.
Given I did not
hear anything about those previous visits, I presumed I had satisfied everyone,
but I still had one more visit to play. It was early afternoon about 3 o’clock
and I was walking down past houses on a street in Mayfair, before I stopped
outside a three storey rebrick building.
As someone came
out, I took the opportunity to get inside, and then used a set of lockpicks to
open the ground floor flat door on the right. I could hear a television set
playing as I closed the front door, and then walked slowly down to look in the
front room.
A young woman
was polishing some items on a shelf unit. She was wearing a black silk blouse
over a grey roll neck sweater, a long grey wool skirt, and black patent leather
boots, and with her back to me I knew she had not seen me yet.
S I coughed
slightly, and she turned and looked at me, then let the cloth drop to the floor
as I assured her I was not going to hurt her. I asked who she was, and she said
she was the au pair cum nanny. She spoke with an American accent in fact, she
looked like an older version of that kid in Taxi Driver, Jodie Foster. So I
said I was going to have to make sure she could not raise the alarm while I
robbed the place, and told her to walk into the dining room.
In there, I
pulled a chair away and told her to take a seat, and to put her arms round the
chair back. When she did so, I opened the bag I was taking and took a length of
brown rope out, before I secured her wrists tightly together and then tied them
to the back of the chair.
I then knelt to
her side and took her booted ankle to one side, securing it to the leg of the
chair before I did the same thing on the other side. I then stood up, before I
heard a girl’s voice behind me saying “what are you doing to Nanny?”
I turned to see
a thirteen-year-old girl standing there, wearing a grey striped pinafore dress
over a white blouse, and brown Frye style knee length leather boots and with a
satchel over one shoulder. It would appear one of the family was home from
school, as the nanny looked back and said it was all right, she had not been
hurt but she was to do whatever I said as well.
So I told her
to walk over and put her books on the table, and then to take a seat on a
second chair before she put her hands behind her back. The seats had narrow
wooden slats on the back far enough art that I could take the new arrival’s
arms between the slats and then tie her wrists together, before tying them to
the centre spar. I then took a longer length and lashed her upper body to the
chair back before I used a second length of rope to do the same to the au pair.
She talked to
the girl, telling her they could practice their French verbs while they were
sat there, as I knelt down next to her and bound her
ankles tightly together with more of the rope. She then looked at me as I stood
up, and I nodded to show I agreed as I left them talking to each other while I
searched the rest of the flat.
It certainly
was a productive visit but I did have to do one more thing. I took from my bag
a roll of black tape, and tape gagged both the au pair and the daughter in the
chair, before I left them there.
So after that
visit, I got a call from me mentor to come and see him and that was the night I
was fully admitted to the BA, and began my chosen career.
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