The Mature Cat
I will confess
– after you sit down – that as my years progress, I do like dealing with the
more mature lady, but it is something I have prided myself in throughout my
career, almost from the start of my solo tenure. I vividly remember one wonderful lady – this
would have been about 1978, and I was in a flat in Penge when the occupant came
home.
She had been to
a sixties party by the look of things, as I watched from behind the door
connecting to her kitchen as she came into her front room. Her hair was chestnut brown, and arranged in
the most wonderful bouffant style, while her outfit was a pale lilac
mini-dress, with a small opening under the collar, and knee length white go-go
boots.
At any rate, I
was in the rather unfortunate position that the only way out without going over
several fields was that room, so I opened the doors, saw her alarmed look, and
assured her I had no wish nor desire to harm her – but I would have to make
sure she could not raise the alarm so that I could abscond with her jewels. Well, she looked at me, her head to one side,
and then nodded as she said she believed me, only requesting she be comfortable
wherever or however I left her.
Well, I could
only respond by offering her the choice of where she wished to be, and she said
she would be fine on the couch – once she had done something. And that something was to remove her wig,
placing it carefully on a table as she stood with her closely cropped
grey-brown hair.
I smiled, and
complemented her on looking so wonderful at her age, and she blushed at that –
before asking me how I intended to make sure she could not raise the alarm.
I had some
lengths of cord with me, so I invited her to lie face down, cross her ankles,
and cross her wrists behind her back.
This allowed me to ensure her wrists and ankles were secured, before I
asked her to roll over, and I put a cushion under her head.
That only left
one question – how to keep her quiet long enough for me to be able to make my
escape. She told me there was a blue
handkerchief in her handbag, which I fetched out, rolled up, and placed in her
mouth, the edges sticking out, before I made my apologies and left her
there.
Naturally, I
called the police once I was a suitable distance away, but she had been so
willing a damsel when I had asked so nicely.
I guess that was one of the first time I realised just how important
manners can be, if used properly.
That certainly
came in handy a few years later – this would have been in the mid-eighties – when
I was walking in the Denham village when an open door caught my eye. Now, Denham is a fine place, very quiet, and
with houses of people with valuable things inside their houses – and I was in a
position where I had a spare hour, so I looked round, pulled a pair of gloves
on, and quickly walked in.
It was
certainly a nice house, and the front room was home to a fine collection of
coins on display in a cabinet, so I took the liberty of helping myself to the
most valuable – which was when I heard the sound of a woman crying, and turned
to see a dark haired lady in her late forties walk in. She was wearing a white jumper, with a silver
and diamond necklace round her neck, a knee length black skirt, dark tights and
knee length tan leather boots.
But she had
been crying – and when she saw me, with the coins, she just said “why not – my
day’s ruined already,” and asked if I was going to tie her up.
This was my
intention, but I was curious, so I asked her why shew as upset – it was
something more than just me. She told me
her boyfriend of some years’ standing had just called to break up with her – a
thing that would certainly explain the tears and sadness.
I asked why,
and she said he had said there was no excitement in their life any more. On hearing this, I asked if he was local, and
she said he was – which gave me an idea…
There was a dining
table and chairs to the rear of the room, and I asked her if she had a washing
line. She nodded, and said she had some
tape as well if I was going to gag her, so I accompanied her to the kitchen to fetch
the items. On walking back into the
front room, I took a chair and set it in the middle of the room, and invited
her to take a seat, with her hands in front of her. When she had done this, I made a lasso with
the washing line, passed it over her head and shoulders, and pulled it tight so
that her arms were fixed to her sides under her chest.
She asked why I
had done this, and I said I would show her – which I did, wrapping the rope
around her and the chair back so that she was held into place against it, and
her arms forced to her sides, and then tying her wrists tightly together in
front of her. I then tied them down to
her legs, and finally secured her ankles together, taking them to one side and
tying them to the chair leg.
She wriggled
round, and said she was going to stay there, while I removed her necklace and
put it into my bag. I then picked up a
white napkin from the table, and asked her where I would find her boyfriend’s
number. She asked why, and I said I had
my reasons, so she told me his name and said it was in her directory by the
phone.
Thanking her
for that, I used the napkin as a cleave gag, securing the ends at the base of
her neck, and then left, taking a note of the number before leaving the
house. A drive to Beaconsfield, and a
half in the bar there, and I called her boyfriend, telling him she had been
robbed, and she was tied up, awaiting rescue…
There – I think
the brew is just right now. As you know,
as a rule I am not very fond of having the issue of needing to make sure
children cannot raise the alarm when I visit.
In 1989, however, there was one time I needed to do that, and in the
process made sure a grandmother was really bonding with her granddaughter…
I had been
commissioned to obtain some items from a farmhouse in County Durham, given I
was there on an antiquing foray, so I made sure I had a couple of spare hours,
and made my way to the location. When I
got there, nobody was at home, so I let myself in and soon found the things I
had been asked to obtain.
Now, I was then
in the habit of taking things with me in case I should meet anyone – but what I
was not expecting was an eleven year old girl with long brown hair, wearing a
dark pink coat over a grey denim bib dress and a blue t-shirt, as well as
mid-calf black leather boots. She came
into the room I was in, and looked at me, her head cocked to one side as she
asked who I was, and why I had Granny’s things.
Now, I’m not
the Games Player, or even the remarkable Jay Edwards with Mrs McPhee – and this
was nearly thirty years ago – so I looked at her, and asked her who else was in
the house. That was when she called out,
and a grey haired woman came in, wearing a black jumper over a floral print
skirt, dark tights and mid-calf black felt boots with a grey fur trim. She looked at me, and said something under
her breath I cannot repeat, before she said I should leave, and she would not
tell the police.
I had to assure
her she – and her granddaughter – would not be calling the police, but I could not
just leave. That was when her
granddaughter said I was a thief – and then said I would have to stop her and
her granny calling for help.
Well, I looked
at her grandmother, and she looked at me, before she said I would have to do
that – so I felt as if I had to. I asked
them both to put their hands on their heads, and then to walk up to the
grandmother’s bedroom with me. They did
this, talking as if it was an everyday thing for them, before I told the older
woman to sit on the bed, and her granddaughter to stand in front of her, and
put her hands behind her back.
A few minutes
later, I had the young girl’s wrists tied together behind her back, as well as
having secured her grandmother’s and they were both watching as I was binding their
ankles together over their boots. Once I
had done that, I tied the legs of each of them together below their knees, the
little kid raising her legs up to look at them when I had finished, before she
said I would have to tie them together back to back.
I asked her
grandmother where this had come from, and she sighed as she said they had
watched an episode of an American show where the family had been tied like
that. Well, I saw no reason why not, so
I helped them to sit back to back on the bed, and used a length of rope to tie
them together around their waists.
A second band
went round both of them, around the young girl’s upper arms and below her grandmother’s
chest, her head between the older woman’s shoulder blades. I used a third length of rope to secure her
upper arms, above the young girl’s head, and then used two of her headscarves
as cleave gags, making sure they were nice and tight, before I made a low bow
and left them to enjoy their afternoon.
I know they
enjoyed that time, but as to how I know – I’ll get to that in a little while…
One thing about
people as they get older, they get lonelier, and sometimes all they want to do
is talk to someone. It was 1995, and I
was in Western Scotland, when I was asked to visit a small seaside cottage and
give a security quote.
I was greeted
at the door by a lovely woman in her late sixties, with short white hair, who
was wearing a short sleeved blouse with a floral print, and white trousers, the
legs tucked into knee length black patent leather boots. She also had the most amazing grey eyes,
behind a pair of tortoiseshell glasses.
I was invited in, and we sat and talked about her house and her
possessions over tea and biscuits.
Eventually, I
was able to say I could do a quote for her, and asked if there was anything
else I could do for her. She gave me a
funny look, and then asked if I knew how to tie someone up and stop them
calling for help?
Not what you
would expect to hear, but I said I could do that, and asked her why. She said her family were coming round, and
they – well, she wanted to give them a surprise, if I could help. She also assured me she was not going to drop
me in it, as it were.
So I asked her
what she wanted me to do, and she stood up, picking up a bag from a corner and
handing it to me. I asked her again if
she was sure, and she nodded as she folded her glasses and put them on the
table.
So I started,
as I always do, with her wrists, crossed and tied together behind her back, and
then secured more with some rope round her waist. As I did this, she thanked me, and said she
used to play these games a lot with her daughter – so maybe she might play
again.
That was a
conversation for those two to have, as I tied some rope round her arms and
body, above and below her chest, so that they were secured in place, and
invited her to take a seat on a recliner in the room. She then lay back, wriggling and watching as
I tied her ankles together side by side, and then secured her legs together
below her knees,
She then opened
her mouth, allowing me to put a folded cloth in at her request, and then cover
her lips with silver tape, before I made sure she was comfortable and
safe. I finished about ten minutes
before she was due to receive visitors, and went out to my car, making notes on
my proposals as I watched from around the corner. A few minutes later, a car pulled up outside,
and a mother and daughter got out. I
hoped they were ready to help as I drove off…
It was at about
that time when I had a rather unusual visit to make as well. It was one that came about after a visit to
my first antique store by a woman in her early fifties, who had some plate she
was wanting valued. I was more than
happy to oblige, as she took note, and then said she was wondering about
improving her security – but her husband did not think it was necessary.
She had short
grey-blonde hair, a nice smile, and wore glasses, as she asked if I knew of
anyone who could persuade her husband.
Looking at her, I said from my experience, the only way to convince
someone like that is to actually rob them – or stage a robbery.
I noticed an excited
gleam in her eye, as she asked if I knew anyone who could stage a robbery – on
her terms, with no comeback. Well, I
said I may be able to help, but she would need to do something for me, first to
sign a waiver just in case, and then to be prepared.
Two days later
I was walking up the street, wearing a black hat over my head, a dark leather
jacket over a sweater, jeans and trainers.
As I got close to the house in question, I looked round, made sure my
rucksack was on, and put on some leather gloves before I walked up to the front
door of the house. Looking round, I
rolled down the rim of my hat to over my head, leaving only my eyes and mouth
visible, before I let myself in and closed the door quietly behind me.
I could hear
the radio on in the kitchen, and walked in to see the lady of the house,
wearing a black roll neck sweater, beige skirt, dark tights and black leather
boots. She was standing looking at a
mirror, smiling as she used a digital camera to take a photo of herself – and then
turning and gasping as she saw me standing there.
As soon as I
spoke, she knew who it was, and admitted I had frightened the life out of
her. I replied that would have been the
point, and told her to take me up to her bedroom. Once we got there, I asked her to select some
of her jewels, and put them in the little bag I gave her – I’d hold on to them
for safe keeping, and she could collect them from me in a few days.
I have to
admit, she did seem excited about doing that, before I slipped the rucksack off
and put it on the bed, and then she put the black bag into it as I took out
some soft red rope. Crossing her wrists
behind her back, I made sure they were firmly secured together, and then took a
longer length around her body, pulling it tight under her chest before I wound
it round above and below, securing her arms to her side as I tied it off behind
her, and then took the rope under one arm, up and around the back of the neck,
and under the other arm.
She took a seat
on the bed when I invited her to do so, and then crossed and bound her ankles
together, before securing her legs together below her knees. She asked if I had done this before
professionally, and I nodded, saying that those days, I mainly did it for
security demonstrations – or when asked to.
She wriggled
round as I tied the rope off on her legs, smiling at the squeak of her leather
boots, and then I compressed a sponge ball in my hand, and told her to open her
mouth. When she did so, I pushed the
sponge in, and then used some white medical tape to cover her mouth, the shape
of her lips visible underneath as she nodded at me.
To add the final
touch, I helped her to lie on her side, pulled her ankles back, and tied them
to her chest ropes, making sure she was still comfortable, and then took the
mask off, rubbing my hand through my hair and ensuring she was going to be
ok. When she nodded, I left with the
rucksack.
And I promise
you, a week later, she came in with her husband and asked for a security quote…
Now, remember
that little girl from the mid-eighties?
A couple of weeks ago, I was in my shop when a woman in her late forties
came in, with her twenty year old daughter.
I welcomed her, and she said she had bene given my name by a friend,
whose name I did recognise. When I asked
what I could do for her, she said she had been, when she was a little girl,
tied up and gagged with her grandmother when she was visiting County Durham…
I asked if she
had been all right, and she said she had, but the memory of that day had been
with her all her life, and when her daughter had heard about it, she asked her
mother if she wanted to relive that time.
It is not unheard of, and she had heard I had done that thing for people
in the pas t- also true.
So I arranged
to visit her at her home, to value a wardrobe she had – and also to give her
and her daughter a taste of what happened.
When I called,
she opened the door, her short hair held back by a white hairband. She was wearing a grey wool jacket over a
black t-shirt, and faded blue jeans, the legs tucked into black leather
boots. Her daughter greeted me when I
came in – she was also wearing a black t-shirt, with a long blue denim skirt
and snakeskin patterned grey leggings, but she was barefoot.
Well, we sat,
had coffee, and then I asked where the wardrobe was – the woman countering with
she would tell me where it was, but first they wanted to have the
experience. I nodded, and said they
should do anything they needed to do, before we met in the front room.
When they came
in, I had pulled the curtains across the windows, and I asked them both to
kneel down in front of the couch, and put their hands behind their backs. As they did this, I took some cords from a
bag I had brought in, and crossed the woman’s wrists behind her back, binding
them together as she and her daughter talked about their plans for the next day
– a shopping trip, maybe some lunch to, and a film…
Once I had them
both secured at the wrists, I took longer lengths of rope, and started to bind
their arms to their sides. She
remembered feeling the ropes around her and her grandmother, and looking up to
see the extra one I had tied on her grandmother. She said she wondered why the man had done
that – I wasn’t about to say I knew why…
Once they both
had their arms tied to their sides, I helped them to sit back to back, taking
more cords as I knelt by the older woman’s feet, and started to bind her ankles
tightly together as she watched. Her
daughter asked what the squeaking noise was, and as I pulled the rope between
her legs her mother told her it was her boots rubbing together under the rope.
I then tied her
legs together below her knees, and walked round, securing her daughter’s ankles
and legs in the same way as her mother.
I then took a long, long length of rope, and tied them together around
their waists and upper bodies, so they were truly secured together.
For the gags, I
used folded cloths in their mouths, and then white micropore tape over their
lower faces, smiling as they both nodded and grunted – and then I went to
examine the wardrobe, leaving them for a while to enjoy the experience.
Oh of course I
let them go before I left – rescue was not part of that particular
package. On the other hand, I have heard
of some… But that’s a story for another
day…
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