Jayes and
the Jade Leprechaun
It is a matter
of history that there have been two, maybe three women who have managed to do
the next to impossible and fully attract the attention of the stout yeoman I
know as Jayes. And I do not mean in a
professional sense, such as with my darling Gladys or my good American friends
Mrs Rockwell and Doctor Huntingdown. No,
I mean in the sense of what I used, as a younger man, to do twice a day and
three times on Sunday – fall in love.
One such was my
darling sister in law, until her heart was stolen by a soldier and Jayes
gallantly stood to one side. But the one
that comes to mind now would involve the red headed colleen Agnetha Butler,
Viscountess Kildurran, a house party in Dublin, an old acquaintance – and the
foiling of a dastardly plot.
Oh – and a fund
raising trip of our own…
But dash it,
I’m getting ahead of myself again, aren’t I?
Let’s go back to the beginning…
I remember it
was the end of February in 1937 – it had been two years since Gladys Pugh had become
the Honourable Gladys Rhymaes, and had moved into our little flat. Jayes had agreed to stay on as our man about
the house, and assistant in many other ways, and life had settled into a
combination of domestic bliss, interrupted by the occasional storm.
And it was the
arrival of the first telegram that morning that heralded the start of this
tale. Gladys and I had just finished
breakfast, when Jayes coughed softly and said “A telegram, sir – from Mrs
Arbuthnot.”
Gladys must
have seen the colour run from my face, as she said “oh come on Barty – surely
Aunt Agnes cannot scare you anymore?”
“Let me say one
thing, Gladys my love,” I whispered as I reached for the small envelope with
trembling hands, “York.”
“Ah – fair
point,” she said as she put the cup down, and we both exchanged significant
glances with Jayes. He remained silent,
as I opened the missive and read it carefully.
“Damn it all,
she’s coming to lunch Jayes – lay in suitable food for a vulture.”
“Oh dear – and
I have my Ladies Circle luncheon with Aunt Deborah.” Gladys patted her lips, smiled and stood up,
saying “you can tell me all about it later” as she left the table.
“Jayes,” I said
quietly, “the storm approaches. Prepare
for a rocky ride…”
“Very good
Sir. I shall prepare a suitable luncheon
for two…”
“I do not
understand why you kept that man on,” Aunt Agnes said as she looked at me,
looking for all the world like a raven at the Tower.
“Because I like
him, and Gladys likes him,” I said before I took a sip of the cold consommé,
“and he does cook exceedingly well.”
I had the joy
of the rare sight of Aunt Agnes nodding, as she said “true – well, I wanted to
meet you today because I want you to do me a small favour, Bartholomew.”
“And that is,
dearest aunt,” I said as Jayes cleared the soup bowls, returning with the lamb
cutlets and served the vegetables.
“I have placed
an order for a statuette in Jade, and it needs to be collected from the dealer
in Dublin. I wish you to go and fetch
it.”
“You want me to
an errand boy, Aunt Agnes? Surely you know
I have many demands on my time…”
“Not that many Bartholomew,”
Aunt Agnes said as she fixed me with a stare, and I melted in the fire before
Jayes coughed.
“What Mister Rhymaes
meant to say, Madame, is he would be delighted to fetch this item for you. We received an invite to a house party in
Dublin next week, and he was going to reply in the affirmative. We can collect the statuette then.”
“We have,” I
said as I looked at Jayes, but his simple comment seemed to calm the aged rel
as she said “good – I will send the details tomorrow.”
When she left,
I looked at Jayes and said “rather convenient, Jayes. Where is this house party?”
“At the Dublin
home of the Duke and Duchess of Lardarn,” Jayes said with a smile.
“Paddy and Shelagh? How fortunate,” I said with a smile. His Grace Patrick, Duke of Lardarn, had been
at prep with me, as little Paddy Gaunt, and he had married the actress Shelagh
O’Connor a year before. “And who else
will be in this party?”
Before he could
answer, he went to the door and opened it as Gladys came in. “How do you do that Jayes,” she said with a smile
as she removed her hand and gloves.
“It is a gift
Madame. I was informing Mister Rhymaes
we have an invitation to visit Gaunt House in Dublin, at which point he is
expected by Mrs Arbuthnot to collect a jade statuette.”
“The Jade
Leprechaun?”
Jayes raised an
eyebrow as he said quietly “so that is the object of interest? I see.
Sir, Madame, there are possibilities here.”
“We can talk of
that later – Aunt Agnes has put in a bid for it? She is not the only one. Agnetha was at the lunch as well.”
“Viscountess
Kildurran?”
The way Jayes
talked had made both me and Gladys look at him.
“Jayes,” she finally said, “I know Daphne is with Giles, but has another
woman caught your eye?”
“Forgive me,”
he said and I swear I saw him blush. “I
meant to inform you there will be another guest there – the Baron Albrecht von
Buchenwald.”
“A German? Is he one of these blackshirt types?”
“I could not
say, Sir,” Jayes said quietly, “but he is a prominent industrialist. Perhaps your father knows of him, Madame?”
“I can ask – so
when do we go there?”
“Two weeks’
time, Madame – in time for the St Partrick’s Day events…”
So it was, on
the Ides of March, that we found ourselves bowling along the roads of Ireland,
having taken the ferry over the previous night.
Jayes was driving, with me and Gladys in the back, both of us wearing
driving coats and Jaye sin his black jacket and trousers.
As we entered
the city of Dublin, we both admired the architecture, before we pulled up in
front of an imposing brown stone building by the banks of the Liffey. As Jayes got out, the door opened and an
imposing gentlemen came down, obviously their butler, but with a neatly trimmed
black beard.
“Welcome to
Gaunt House,” he said as all three of us looked at him. “I am Doyle, the butler. If you would care to follow me, there are
refreshments available inside, and the staff will fetch the luggage.”
“With your
permission,” Jayes said as he inclined his head, “I will ensure the luggage is
placed and unpacked. Perhaps I can ask
for some tea after that, Mister Doyle.”
The butler
inclined his head as he indicated Gladys and I should follow him, not quite
believing the fact we knew who this was…
“If you will
wait in here,” Doyle said as he indicated a sitting room, “I will inform the
duke and Duchess you are here.” He closed
the door, Gladys looking at me as she said “Barty, is that…”
“I think it
is,” I said quietly as the door opened, and Paddy and Shelagh came in. I noted he was, like me, wearing a light suit
with the shirt and tie, but while Gladys was in a grey jacket and dress, Shelagh
was wearing a cream slip dress with a set of pearls round her neck.
“Barty old
boy,” Paddy said as we shook hands, “you look good – and you look radiant
Gladys. Thanks for coming – ah thank you
Doyle.”
“Sir,” the
butler said as he allowed a maid to bring in some tea, and then left.
“Where did you
find him,” Gladys asked as Shelagh poured.
“He was
recommended by the agency,” Paddy said, “and he is worth his salt.”
As he spoke,
the door opened and a tall, thin, elegant looking woman came in. She was wearing a blue dress with short
sleeves, a patterned scarf tied over her shoulder, but she smiled as she said
“Gladys – you made it!”
“I did indeed –
Barty, let me introduce you to Agnetha, Viscountess Kildurran. Aggie, my husband Barty.” I looked at the redhead, who reminded me of
Rita Heyworth in her manner and stance, her poise and manners.
“A pleasure,”
she said as she shook my hand, her smile dazzling me – and then I heard a soft
cough and saw Jayes had joined us.
“Jayes – the
luggage is sorted?”
“Indeed, Sir,”
he said quietly, but as he looked at Agnetha I swore the corner of his mouth twitched
as well. “I will go and lay out the
clothes for later, unless you need me for anything else?”
“Well, this
promises to be an interesting evening,” Gladys said as she came into the room,
wearing a grey evening dress with long gloves as I was tying the bow tie, Jayes
standing to the side. “So come on Jayes
– is it him?”
“It is indeed,
Sir, Madame,” Jayes said with an inclination of his head, “it would appear
Black Jack Richmond made his way to Dublin, and re-invented himself. We have spoken privately, and I was able to
tell him some of the news concerning his niece and her recent marriage. He was grateful for the glad tidings.”
“Well, well, I
am glad he found some peace,” Gladys said with a smile. “So the whole party is here?”
“They are
indeed,” Jayes said as we heard the gong, “shall we?”
As we entered
the dining room, Agnetha was standing with a smaller gentleman, with obvious
military bearing, wearing a black dinner jacket and pants. As we came in, he stood to attention, clipped
his heels and bowed as he said “ah, Mister and Mrs Rhymaes I presume? Baron Albrecht von Buchenwald, at your
service.”
“A pleasure,” I
said as I bowed and he kissed Gladys on the hand. “So what brings you to Ireland?”
“Oh a matter of
business – I am interested in a statuette that is on the market, and the
Viscountess was kind enough to ask me to accompany her. Shall we take our seats?”
As we sat down,
Paddy and Shelagh were more than amenable hosts, and the meal passed passably
well – until the ladies stood and left us to the port and cigars. As the door closed, the Baron smiled and said
“a most amenable place, this city. Tell
me, what do you hear of our country here?”
Paddy shook his
head as he said “not very good things, if truth be told Albrecht. Your leader, Chancellor Hitler, strikes me as
a man with some rather – disagreeable views.”
I could see the
German nobleman raise an eyebrow, before he smiled and said “well, can I tell
you a secret? It is on behalf of the
Chancellor I am truly here. He wishes to
talk with some politicians here - and he wants the jade statuette.”
“Oh – and why is
that old bean,” I said with a flippant attitude.
“He desires
objects with a – spiritual basis,” Albrecht said, “and the legends of that
statuette have reached his ears.”
“What – the
fairy tale that it was made by leprechauns,” Paddy said with a laugh. “It’s just that – a fairy story!”
“Perhaps,
perhaps not,” he said quietly, “but I am charged – well, ordered to obtain it…”
“That is most
disturbing news, sir,” Jayes said as he stood in the room as Gladys and I
looked at him. “I had heard rumours of the
interests of Chancellor Hitler, but only rumours.”
“I have to say,
Shelagh does not like him,” Gladys said, “but Agnetha seems to tolerate him.”
“Well, Agnetha
strikes me as a strange woman,” I said as I finished the W’n’S, and then I saw
the look in Jayes’ eye. One I had seen
in myself so often.
“Oh no – don’t
tell me…”
“Sorry Sir,”
Jayes said as he shook his head, “but I think we need to take steps to ensure
the Baron does not obtain the statuette.
My concern, however, is however it is obtained, it cannot be forwarded
to Mrs Arbuthnot as planned.”
“WHAT! Jayes, you know what happens if Aunt Agatha
thinks I have ruined her plans…”
“I appreciate
the difficulty sir,” Jayes said quietly, “but consider. You and Mrs Rhymaes know the reports that
have come from Germany – does it strike you that the Baron would stop at
anything to obtain it?”
Gladys and I
looked at each other – we had indeed heard the stories, and a recent dinner
with our friend Annie Xavier had led to the beginnings of further planning for
what we knew was inevitable. The wisdom
of Jayes’ comment hit home, as I said “so it has to be hidden – where is it
now?”
“It is to be
brought to the house tomorrow prior to the auction – Mister Doyle was kind
enough to inform us of the fact – and the auction is in two days’ time. I think, Sir, we need to stage a robbery and
take it under cover of that.”
“Rob Paddy and Shelagh? Jayes, you know we have rules…”
“I understand,
Sir, but I truly believe there is no other way.”
“He’s right,”
Gladys said quietly, “we can discuss in the morning…”
As we walked
round the parks, me wearing a brown overcoat and a trilby and Gladys in a green
coat with a wide fur collar and fur lined gloves, she said “so we know that we
are going for a meal and the theatre tonight, while Doyle and the servants stay
guard – our window of opportunity is going to come in the night.”
I nodded in
agreement, as I said “I regret that we need to secure Paddy and Shelagh, but we
need to in order to make this work. We
can only hope Jayes and I can pull this off successfully?”
“While I remain
undisturbed,” Gladys said as we approached the entrance to the house and walked
in – only to see as we went into the front room Doyle standing over a small
green statuette. It was obviously made
of jade, and took the form of a small bearded man sitting on a stool.
“A beauty to
behold, isn’t it?”
I turned to see
Agnetha looking carefully at it, and said “I suppose it is, but not my artistic
cup of tea. Still, my Aunt likes the
look of it?”
“Agnes
Arbuthnot? My mother knew her – how is
the old woman?”
“My aunt, an
old woman?” I raised an eyebrow at
Agnetha, before there was a soft cough behind us.
“Forgive me, Viscountess,”
Jayes said quietly, “a telephone call for you, apparently it is your mother
calling?”
“Ah – well
then, if Mater is calling,” Agnetha said with her light laugh as she walked
off, both Jayes and I looking at the way her green silk gown moved with each
step.
“Jayes, if I
was a single man…”
“Quite Sir –
his Lordship has asked if you will visit him in the library, to discuss the old
days.”
I nodded as I
walked off, wondering what Jayes and Doyle would have to say to each other…
“Well, that was
a magnificent show,” Shelagh said as she took her cape off as we returned that
night, “but I am ready for my bed. Is
everything secured, Doyle?”
“It is, your
ladyship,” the butler said, “If you will excuse me, I will ensure the outer doors
are closed and locked. One can never be
too careful.”
“Well,” I said
as I stretched and yawned, “time for bed I think. Coming Gladys?”
“No – I think
I’m going to sit up for a while with Agnetha and Baron Buchenwald. I will join you later,” Gladys said as she
kissed me on the cheek, and went into the drawing room while I headed up to the
bedroom. Slipping off the jacket and loosening
the bow tie, I waited until there was a soft knock at the door, and Jayes
slipped in.
“Your nightcap,
sir,” he said as he held the reviver on a silver platter, “and I have laid out
suitable raiment for our night-time activities.”
“Gladys is
talking downstairs – should we wait until she comes up?”
“It may be
prudent sir, but time will be of the essence, so I shall return at midnight
with a report.”
“Very well then
– I will see you then,” I said quietly, Jayes bowing his head before he slipped
out.
When midnight
came, Gladys had not returned – and although I was now wearing the regulation
black clothing, her lack of presence was disturbing me. I was about to leave when I heard the door
open, and Jayes slipped in.
“Have you seen
Gladys, Jayes?”
“I regret I
have not sir - but I did see the light was still on in the drawing room. We should be about our work first, with the
Duke and Duchess.”
“Indeed,” I
said as I applied the black eye mask, “the rear door?”
“I have already
ensured it will be found to have been forced, sir. After you…”
We both slipped
out, wearing black jackets over our roll neck sweaters. Jayes was carrying a jemmy, while I had a
serviceable pistol in my gloved hand. We
crept along the hallway, and slowly opened the door to Paddy and Shelagh’s
room.
They were
asleep on the bed, Shelagh’s hair held back by a white scarf folded into a
band, and Paddy wearing a striking set of heliotrope pyjamas. Jayes and I looked at each other, and then he
stood on one side of the bed as I put a leather gloved hand over Shelagh’s
mouth.
She opened her
eyes wide and looked at me, as I put a finger to my lips, the black hat
covering my hair, and pointed to her husband.
She reached back and pushed Paddy in the back, and as he opened his eyes
he saw the masked man standing there, touching his cap and saying “Evening your
lordship – please, do as we say and you and your lovely lady get to be unhurt”
in an Irish accent.
“What
the…” He turned over and saw me, one
gloved hand over Shelagh’s mouth and the other holding a gun over both of them,
before he said “all right – what do you want?”
“For now,”
Jayes said quietly, “lie face down and put your hands behind your back.” As Paddy did this, Shelagh watched as Jayes
took a length of cord and bound his wrists tightly together, then used a second
length to secure his ankles.
“Your turn, yer
ladyship,” he then said as he looked at Shelagh, “on your front, and not a
sound.”
“Who are they,
Paddy,” she said quietly as she lay on her stomach, Jayes passing me some cords
as I secured her wrists and ankles together.
“I don’t know –
just thieves I think, so don’t worry,” Paddy said – and then he grunted as Jayes
used one of his wife’s scarves as a cleave gag, the silk going between his
teeth.
I then used a
second scarf on Shelagh, the two of them turning over and watching as I searched
for her jewels, and Jayes stood guard over them. It was a nice haul, even if I felt a small
pang of regret – but the real mission was still to begin.
“Thank you, yer
graces,” Jayes said as he touched his cap again and we both left the room –
Jayes smiling as he said “most satisfactory Sir – but now for the real
objective.”
We walked
slowly down the staircase, the rest of the house in darkness, but as we passed
the drawing room I saw the light was still on.
“Jayes,” I whispered, “before we proceed to the room with the safe, we
need to check in here first.”
“May I ask why,
Sir?”
“Something is
wrong,” I said quietly as I opened the door quietly and looked in, before I
beckoned. “Attend, Jayes, there is a
lady in distress.” He walked over and
we both looked at the sight in front of us.
Gladys was
looking at us, her eyes wide over the long grey shawl which had been tied tightly
over her mouth, as she sat in an old armchair.
Her wrists had been tied down to the arms of the chair, and her ankles
secured together and pulled to the side before they were secured to the chair
leg.
And she was not
happy, as she shook her head and beckoned to us to come in. “Well, what have where,” I said as we walked
in, Jayes closing the door before I pulled the shawl down from her mouth and
said “what happened?”
“What
happened? The Baron and the Viscountess
happened, lover – we were talking when they suddenly looked at each other, then
the next thing I knew I was tied to the chair and gagged.”
“Why would they
do that, Madame,” Jayes said quietly.
“Because I left
the room for a minute, and came back to hear their plans to steal the Jade
Leprechaun,” Gladys said as I untied her, “so you two had better jolly well get
a move on, because they must be into the safe by now.”
Jayes nodded as
we left them there, and then walked down the corridor, stopping outside the
room Paddy used as an office. We could
see a light under the door moving round, so I held the gun as Jayes looked in
the door.
Agnetha was
certainly there, and the door was certainly open to the safe – but she was in
no position to do anything, sitting in a chair with her hands taken behind the
chair back, rope visible on her arms and body.
A white cloth was also sticking out of her mouth, as Albrecht von
Buchenwald stood at the safe, the green statuette in his hands.
“The Fuhrer
will be most placed to receive this,” he said as he looked at Agnetha, “and
there is nothing Military Intelligence can do about this.”
Jayes and I
exchanged a look as Agnetha struggled, Albrecht putting the Jade Leprechaun into
a black valise – and then he looked to the door.
“Whoever you
are in, I have a gun,” he said, “so get in here.” Well, a gentleman cannot refuse an offer like
that – so we both walked in, Jayes saying “seems we were too late for the real
prize” in his Irish accent.
“So you are robbing
the place as well? Plenty still in there
for you – I only want this,” he said quietly as
he motioned with the Luger, both of us moving to the side as Agnetha
watched her, and he stepped into the hallway.
“He’s going to
get away with it,” I hissed as the door closed, and then Jayes smiled – and I
hated it when he smiled like that, because to meant he knew something I did
not.
“Ghttmhhhthfths!”
“My apologies,”
he said in his normal voice as he untied Agnetha from the chair, waiting as she
removed her scarf before she said “well, this is a fine pickle. I never pegged you two as cat burglars.”
“You know who
we are?”
“Obvious as
soon as you came in, although I could have done without the Nazi spilling the
beans on me,” she said as she stood up.
“Gladys mad at me?”
“A little – why
did you do it?”
“Because we
want the statuette as well,” she said, “but now he has got clean away.”
I heard the
soft chuckle, as she looked at Jayes and said “I don’t see what is funny?”
“I apologise,
your Ladyship,” Jayes said, “but I anticipate such an eventuality. Your identity is known to me through –
contacts, shall we say?”
“Contacts…. Oh lordie, the Agency? You know Annie?”
“We have a
passing acquaintance – on which note, if you will follow me?”
We looked at
each other and then walked out of the office, down the hallway and to the
kitchen – where we saw Albrecht out cold in a chair, and a large, burly, black
bearded man standing over him.
“Mister Rhymaes
– Jayes – I take it their Graces are safe?”
“If you will
allow us sufficient time to return to our rooms, you will find them secured and
silenced in their bed on your tour before retiring, sir,” Jayes said quietly.
“You know
Doyle?”
“They know me
of old – they are the ones who got me out of the States,” Doyle said.
“Oh – when you
were Black Jack?”
It was my turn
to look stunned, as Agnetha said “we helped establish his identity here – but
that means you were there at Curragh.
Smooth work, both of you.”
“You are
Military Intelligence?”
“For my sins –
but keep it quiet, will you? So what are
we going to do with this?”
“I fear it has
to disappear – will you entrust me and Mister Richmond with the task, Sir?”
“Jayes, I do
not think I could trust it to anyone better.
Allow me to collect Gladys and retire – you too Agnetha – and then the
alarm can be raised…”
“Are you sure
you are all right,” Gladys said as she and Agnetha sat with Shelagh in the
morning room.
“I was scared,
but Doyle soon found us,” she said as she sipped her tea, “but the Baron has
just disappeared with the Jade Leprechaun!”
“Well, at least
Aunt Agnes cannot blame me for this one,” I said quietly as I sat with
Paddy. “I’m amazed we slept through it.”
“Barty, you
could sleep through the trumpet on the last day,” Paddy laughed as he stood up,
and I saw Jayes standing in the doorway.
“Excuse me ladies,” I said as I slipped out, and said quietly “well?”
“With the help
of Mister Doyle, we have secreted the statuette in a secure place in the
house. Only he and I know where it is,
and he will say nothing.”
“And you?”
“I have sent
instructions of how to find it to my brother, Sir?”
I turned and
stared at him as he said “You have a brother?”
“Indeed Sir –
he emigrated to New Zealand a year before I came into your service, and is
entirely trustworthy. I am sure the
secret will remain safe with him.”
“And the Viscountess? What of her?”
Jayes smiled,
and said “I fear sir her standing is much greater than mine – but I do not
think we have seen the last of her.”
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